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Competing for Tupperware© at Dixie's Tupperware Party

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If you think there's pressure in high school volleyball, try competing for Tupperware© onstage at Booth Playhouse. That's what Sue and I did last Wednesday when Dixie Longate (nee Kris Andersson) plucked us from the audience at Dixie's Tupperware Party for a winner-take-all race against another couple to stretch, fill and stack three collapsible FlatOut© containers. To my great shame — and the sheer delight of the crowd — it turned out that my skill set was in sore need of remedial rimming.

Needless to say, there were many more lewd double entendres in the air as Dixie plied her wares and picke Plus, competing for Tupperware© d on audience. A parolee who had found salvation -- and inspiration -- in Tupperware, Dixie was not required to dilute the trailer-park trashiness of her soul to satisfy the terms of her probation. So in extolling the selling points of an insulated tumbler and its special booze-handling properties, she claimed that the Drip-Less© straw seal worked as well as a vagina.

I arrived too late during the pre-show to find out how Dixie had selected the four guests who sat onstage with her during her performance -- or her reasons for branding the two women lesbians. In Dixie's worldview, that may be a compliment: If you aren't a lesbian, girl, you're a hooker.

The fervent tributes to Brownie Wise, inventor of the Tupperware Party, made me want to hurl. Otherwise, great show.

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