Sure, Bee Movie sucked ass, but don't sleep: Jerry Seinfeld was, is and always shall be a consummate funny man. He's dedicated to the near-extinct art of stand-up comedy and you'll never see him hit a stage spouting old, stale material. All kidding aside, he's a legend because he refuses to put the kidding aside -- and we should all thank the heavens for that. $45-$75. 7 p.m. Ovens Auditorium, 2700 E. Independence Blvd. 704-372-3600. www.ovensauditorium.com.