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Over-consumption can kill on the micro or macro level. You can drink yourself to death, drug yourself to death, eat yourself to death, and in some tragic cases with over-zealous marathoners, you can even hydrate yourself to death. On the macro level, we consume so much that our planet is becoming a withered prune while our ozone is so screwed, you might as well switch back to spray deodorant. Who really wants to wipe their pits with the same stick that absorbed yesterday's stinky pheromones?

Elephantiasis

The disease that in all likelihood inspired male enhancement supplements is commonly found in Africa and, less frequently, in the West Indies. Previously, the disease was believed to be spread by mosquito bites only, but is now thought also to derive from walking barefoot on soil, usually red soil (sound familiar?), from which certain small chemical particles enter the skin. You can also get elephantiasis if you first contract lymphogranuloma venereum, a sexually transmitted disease. Whichever way you get it, here's what happens: a parasite blocks the lymph nodes that drain into the lower extremities, creating grotesque enlargement and deformity of the legs and genitalia. Legs and feet swell up to enormous sizes (think Popeye's forearms times three, below your knees); the skin usually develops a thick, pebbly appearance and is often ulcerated and darkened. And don't forget the fever and chills and the possibility of gangrene setting in.

WARNING: DON'T CONTINUE READING IF YOU ARE AFRAID OF GROSS THINGS HAPPENING TO CERTAIN BODY PARTS. Men who contract the disease may suffer a startling enlargement of the scrotum (put it this way, they don't make pants big enough for it), while the penis retracts under skin that becomes thickened, inflexible, hot and painful. Women's vulvas can be affected by elephantiasis, with a long, tumorous mass covered by thickened and ulcerated skin developing between the thighs. It is estimated that about 40 million people are currently seriously infected with elephantiasis, leading medical officials to fear that one day, the increasing popularity of world travel will bring the disease to the US and then -- pandemic time. Elephantiasis is treatable only by chemotherapy or medicines with potentially toxic side effects. A vaccine is not yet available. Depending on your chosen profession, elephantiasis doesn't have to be so devastating. A notorious male prostitute in Atlanta stands on the corner of Ponce De Leon in biker shorts promoting his elephantiatic goods.

Marburg Virus

All that's known about the Marburg virus is that animals likely carry it and that once humans catch it, they can spread it among each other. The virus is a member of the same family as the dreaded Ebola virus. Infection starts with fever, chills and a rash, and in fatal cases ends with liver failure and massive bleeding from all of the body's orifices. Today, more than 80 percent of those who contract the virus die.

Medical experts used to encounter isolated cases, but in recent years they have seen larger outbreaks they've so far managed to contain. There was an outbreak in the Democratic Republic of Congo in 1998, when 154 people came down with the virus and 128 died from it. Another one in Angola last year infected 313 people, 89 percent of whom died. And then the virus vanished. Because health officials aren't sure how many different kinds of animals can carry it, no one knows how to stop its jump from animals to humans. The scary thing about the virus is how easily it makes that jump -- and how virulent recent strains have been. In the 60s, only 22 percent of those who contracted Marburg died. Brace yourself for the 2000s version.

Giardiasis

If you need something to dread, then consider the possibility of giardiasis spreading throughout your community. It's already been found worldwide, including right here in the US. Giardiasis is a severe diarrheal illness like dysentery caused by a one-celled, microscopic parasite, Giardia intestinalis. Victims come down with symptoms that include a particularly greasy version of severe diarrhea, extremely painful stomach cramps, weight loss and, eventually, life-threatening levels of dehydration. Many people with giardiasis assume they merely have a bad case of diarrhea and do not seek medical help (several prescription drugs have proved effective) until they're in serious condition.

The Giardia parasite can be found in food, water, soil or surfaces that have been contaminated with the feces from infected humans or animals. Every time a victim of giardiasis takes a dump (and that's really often), millions of germs are released. The disease can then be spread by eating uncooked food contaminated with Giardia; accidentally putting something into your mouth that has come into contact with feces of an infected creature; swallowing water from a pool, hot tub, Jacuzzi, river, pond or water fountain that has been contaminated; accidentally swallowing Giardia picked up from contaminated bathroom surfaces (fixtures, changing tables, diaper pails); drinking contaminated unfiltered water during camping trips; or drinking from shallow wells (and you thought they were safer than deep wells). People most likely to become infected include children in day care centers, childcare workers, parents of infected children, backpackers, swimmers and thirsty international travelers.