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Career suicide?

Young woman wants to make it with her boss' son

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How stupid would it be to sleep with my boss' gorgeous 18-year-old son? My boss has become a mentor to me. He and his wife have welcomed me into their home, which includes their aforementioned son, a high-school senior. I am a 23-year-old woman. Normally, I wouldn't sleep with anyone younger than 20. But besides being very attractive, my boss' son is funny, kind and sweet. He's also incredibly horny and has some serious unexplored kinks that most girls his age have no interest in. I want to spend the next few months fucking my boss' son — bearing in mind and honoring, of course, your campsite rule. Here are the two problems as I see them: (1) Fucking around with your boss' kid seems a surefire way to seriously wreck your relationship with your boss. (2) He is still in high school.

Sex Or Not

1. Fucking your boss' kid seems like a surefire way to get your ass fired, SON, and depending on what field you're in — and how important good recommendations and work histories are in your field — fucking the boss' son could seriously derail your career. If, you know, you manage to get caught. But if you do decide to fuck the shit out of a gorgeous, funny, sweet and kinky adult who happens to be your boss' son, well, you wouldn't be the first person in human history to risk everything for sex. As Mark Twain observed more than a century ago: "The human being, like the immortals, naturally places sexual intercourse far and away above all other joys — yet he has left it out of his heaven! The very thought of it excites him; opportunity sets him wild; in this state, he will risk life, reputation, everything — even his queer heaven itself — to make good that opportunity and ride it to the overwhelming climax."

2. He is an adult — who is still in high school. You are not that far out of high school. Math is hard for me, SON, but according to my calculations, you're not that far apart in age. You might be sabotaging your career, but you wouldn't be robbing the cradle.

3. The campsite rule for new readers: The older and/or more experienced person in a sexual relationship with a large age and/or experience gap is obligated to leave their younger and/or less experienced partner in better shape than when they found them. That means no sexually transmitted infections, no fertilized eggs, no unnecessary drama and no unnecessary trauma.

My boyfriend of nearly a year and I live together and are planning to move across the country in about a month. We have never fought and get along swimmingly. We have amazing sex, we see eye-to-eye on almost everything, and we are planning a future together. The only thing is we have never said, "I love you," to each other. Is this normal? I know we love each other, but being in a serious, committed relationship of almost a year and not saying those words? Could it be possible that he doesn't love me?

Hopefully Not Unlovable

Even if your boyfriend had said, "I love you," a hundred thousand times over the last year, HNU, it would still be possible that he didn't love you. People have been known to lie about this shit. But I don't think a guy would move across the country or plan a future with a woman for whom he felt nothing. Either he already loves you but hasn't found the right moment to say so, or he's sensible enough to realize that you can't be certain that you're in love with someone until after you've had at least one fight.

That said, HNU, if you're ready to say it to him, go ahead and say it. Just don't have a meltdown if he's not ready — yet — to say it to you.

Last month at a house party, my boyfriend accidentally burned my chin, neck and cleavage during a clumsily executed volcano shot. I was literally on fire for a few seconds. Some doctor appointments, burn creams, bandages and awkward scabbing later, I'm healing nicely. My problem is, our sex life has become much more complicated. Before the accident, we were having sex only every week or so. But now he stares sadly at my neck wound (which still has a red line going down it) every time he looks at me. It's very hard to feel sexy when you're constantly looked at with pity, regret and concern, and the stress of being sexually frustrated is fueling other stresses. I just want a way out of this sad circle we've found ourselves in.

Burned

Your boyfriend can't stare at a neck wound he can't see. So until you've fully recovered, B, turn off the lights or blindfold him or lace him into a leather hood — or all three — and have sex the way the good Lord intended us to, i.e., in the dark with our pitiful/regretful/hooded boyfriends. And no more flaming stunt drinks, ferfuckssake!

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