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MORGAN FREEMAN AS DINESH D'SOUZA

Mississippi-born Oscar winner and wannabe ex-colored man Freeman recently told 60 Minutes that Black History Month is "ridiculous" and the only way to get rid of racism is to "stop talking about it." Uh-huh, tell that to all them neo-Nazis and their ilk.

THE LOVE BOAT: NOT SO EXCITING OR NEW

Members of the Minnesota Vikings, including QB Daunte Culpepper, went berserk on a party boat earlier this year and are now charged with indecent, lewd and disorderly conduct. Guess Daunte and 'nem need to purify themselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

SIR ELTON JOHN TIES THE KNOT

Dame Elton and his longtime partner, Canadian filmmaker David Furnish, cementedthe first week of legalized same-sex civil unions in the UK. Let the tantrums and tiara-flinging begin!

SEN. BLANCO ALSO RECEIVED FASHION ADVICE AS PEOPLE WERE DYING

Katrina e-mails reveal shocker: Democrats can be as shallow as unqualified Republican FEMA hacks.

LOVE. ANGEL. MUSIC... BABY?

Pop star Gwen Stefani is reportedly pregnant. Let us hope the infant isn't saddled with a mess of mismatched "Gwenihana"-look onesies.

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