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Bizarre crimes from the Charlotte police files

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Getting Lucky: A 31-year-old woman working at a building running a Pot of Gold Sweepstakes called police after the place was robbed. She told officers the man came in and spoke with her about the sweepstakes and then filled out all of his information and left. About a minute later, he came back in with a gun and robbed the place of an unidentified amount of money. I wonder if he'll win.

Stay A While: A man was arrested for attempting to use illegal drugs in a government building after being caught with a syringe loaded with heroin. The building is located at 801 E. 4th St. Services offered in this friendly building include arrest processing, warrant issuing and, of course, the jail. Time for a quick little unannounced detox of sorts.

Damaged Goods: A 29-year-old man called police after being involved in a domestic dispute. He told officers he was arguing with his wife when things got physical. The woman threw a chair at her husband, striking him in the face and chest. She then grabbed onto his testicles "with great force." This man will never be able to look at a chair again without being traumatized. Not to mention what it will feel like to sit down in one for the next couple of months.

Silence of the Man: A 50-year-old man called police after being threatened by a former lover. He told officers that the woman called him one evening and stated, "I am going to kill you. If you talk to anybody else, I will kill you." The conundrum comes later on down the road when this woman is choking in your dining room and you can't call anyone for fear of her repercussions.

Hard-core Fans: Police were called to a house near UNCC after an assault took place on Super Bowl Sunday. Two 21-year-old women told police they were attending a party at a friend's house when they were attacked and punched in the face numerous times by one suspect. You don't tell a girl in a No. 18 Colts jersey that Drew Brees has the nicest ass on the field.

Mass Confusion: Police were called to a local apartment complex after a woman entered the leasing office stating that all of her furniture was gone. The employees at the complex told her that her husband had come and received a key, even though the locks were changed, because his name was on the lease. She stated that her husband lived in Texas, and that the man was actually his brother, whom she had been dating for the past year. Employees then realized that this brother was the one living in the apartment for the past year and she was sued for breach of contract, losing both her furniture and apartment. Any last words, Jerry?

Kit 'N' Caboodle: A 48-year-old woman called police after a man doing work on her house made off with all the merchandise she was selling out of her home. The items taken included a paper shredder, $100 worth of Obama memorabilia, $400 worth of designer sunglasses, $450 worth of jewelry, three cell phones, scissors, a scarf, a mirror, a vanity case, $600 worth of movie-making equipment, a coffee maker, $500 worth of bamboo voodoo sticks and tens of thousands of dollars worth of African art. Well, at least he finished painting the living room!

Be Happy: A man was arrested during a routine traffic stop after he voluntarily told the officer he was carrying a marijuana grinder and other paraphernalia when the officer commented on smelling a faint odor of weed. If you don't stop, that's the alcohol. If you get out and run, that's the speed. If you just give it to the guy and get in the back of his car, you are stoned.

Kickin' It: Police responded to a domestic dispute and arrested a man for being intoxicated and disruptive, as well as for assault on a female. He then got two more charges after kicking the male and female police officers in the back after being put in their car. I've watched enough episodes of Cops to know that the guy probably denied even doing that.

Speed Racer: A 24-year-old woman called police after being harassed and threatened by a classmate. The known suspect called and texted the victim 90 times in the span of a day. In one call the suspect stated, "I will follow you and run you off the road. I will handle you at school tomorrow." This guy can't figure out if he wants to be a police officer or a priest.

Threat of the Week: A 24-year-old woman called police after being threatened by two known suspects. She told officers the two men, whom she's had problems with in the past, approached her at the bus station downtown and told her they would kick her son and her daughter in the face. Apparently, they've been working on their roundhouse kicks on the Wii Fit, but still can't reach a grown woman's face.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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