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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte's police files (Nov. 7)

Let someone else do your dirty work

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Fired up: A 43-year-old man in south Charlotte called police to report a break-in after returning home from work and finding his family room in disarray. When police arrived, they spoke with a neighbor who witnessed the entire thing. The neighbor told officers and the victim that a group of men entered the home without force and began working on the fireplace. Only 15 minutes later, they must have realized that something was wrong, because they left. Nothing was stolen.

Shopping around: A 19-year-old man filed a police report after he was threatened by a savvy shopper via email. The victim told officers that the suspect threatened to hurt him at first, but then sent another message saying that he had been "checking with low lives" to find out how much it would cost for them to stab the victim instead.

Trick or trick: A 27-year-old woman called police after her home was vandalized by a few Halloween pranksters. She told police that sometime during the afternoon, someone threw eggs at her house. They also threw cereal, although the damage was not quite as severe. Another woman reported the theft of a 7-foot inflatable spider from her yard, which would have made for a fun crime to witness.

Ballsy: An employee at a local investment consultant firm filled out a police report after one of his clients decided to sever ties in an odd way. The consultant reported that he received a package from the client that only contained a single golf spike and a handwritten cease-and-desist order written by the suspect.

Stand your ground: A disabled woman whose car was being repossessed is now claiming she was assaulted by the tow-truck driver who came to do the job. The woman said the man was trying to take the car from her garage but instead hit her wheelchair with his truck, knocking her over. The man was charged with aggravated assault, damage to property and other offenses.

Upholstered Hold Up: A 57-year-old man was the victim of a home invasion last week, during which the two suspects used any means necessary to keep the victim in his place. The man reported that the suspects were moving him from one room to another at gunpoint and keeping him secured by placing a couch on top of him. The men only took the victim's wallet and fled the scene, leaving him under the couch.

Whatever you got: Victims of two separate assaults were hospitalized last week after being attacked with household items. A 32-year-old woman was seriously injured after someone held her down and burned her with an iron. In another case, a 28-year-old man suffered minor injuries described as "knife wounds" after an attacker came at him with a pair of garden shears.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.