Touchy, Touchy: A woman came into the police department last week trying to file a police report against her husband for damaging her property. The woman told police that her husband continuously stuck his hands down his pants, both in the front and back, and then would touch her furniture and everything else around the house. The woman told her hubby to stop but he refused. She even covered the sofas with plastic wrap. Unfortunately for her (and her furniture), she was told that the police could do nothing.
Class Act: Only a month after Daisy Dooks Gentleman's Club got into trouble with ABC inspectors for multiple violations, such as unauthorized guests getting naked in the crowd, the inspectors returned last week and once again didn't like what they found. One officer reported entering the club and smelling a strong smell of marijuana and then watching patrons as they grabbed bottles of alcohol at random and poured themselves shots. The club was written up for multiple violations and will surely be visited by ABC for a third time in the near future.
Clean Break: Two men allegedly got away from a local Family Dollar with some stolen goods last week after making a desperate attempt to practice hygiene. According to the report, an employee watched a man conceal a package of soap in his pants. When she confronted him, he allegedly pushed her out of the way and made for the door. The employee caught up to him and stood in his way, but the man pushed her again and got outside. When she tried to follow him, he allegedly slammed the door on her arm and hopped into a Dodge Charger with his friend, who sped away.
Fired: An east Charlotte man tried to end his life last week and ended up nearly taking his entire apartment complex with him. The man allegedly drank a mixture of gasoline and lighter fluid before setting fire to himself and his apartment. Four apartments were damaged, and two of his neighbors had to flee their homes to escape the flames. The 60-year-old man who started the fire was taken to the hospital with possible internal injuries.
Scissored: A 47-year-old man called police to say that a passenger in his car assaulted him. The man told officers that he was giving a woman a ride home when she started arguing with him. She took a pair of scissors out of her purse and threatened to stab him in the neck, but smartly added that she would wait until they got home because he was driving. When they did arrive, she calmed down and reportedly only stabbed him in the arm.
Threat of the Week: A man called his (hopefully) ex-girlfriend last week and left a message that said, "You think a claw hammer upside the head will stop me? If you follow through with court I am going down the river for 25 years for habitual assault on a female, and you won't wake up in the morning."