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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files

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14 Shots to the Dome, please: A 20-year-old man called police after his life was threatened in the Steele Creek area last week. He said he was in the parking lot of his apartment complex with friends when a man approached with a gun. The suspect pointed it at the victim and asked, "Where do you want the bullet?" Frightened, the victim retreated into his home. Warning: Stay away from the windows. The man may think you're answering his question.

Cowardly criminals: Police responded to an assault call off North Tryon Street after a man was beaten up late one night. The victim, a double amputee, stated he was sleeping in his parked vehicle when unknown men pulled him from the car and beat him up. What was next on their agenda — beating up nuns and babies?

Remorseful criminals?: A 46-year-old woman called cops after her home was broken into last week. She told officers someone had entered her home and left with items including a motorized wheelchair. Maybe the guys from the night before who beat up the double amputee felt guilty and wanted to rescue their earlier victim.

Manners: Police responded to an assault call in south Charlotte last week and found a couple on Ballantyne Commons Parkway. The 43-year-old victim claimed the suspect had struck her. The suspect admitted to doing so and apologized. No charges were filed. See, even domestic violence is lame in the rich parts of town.

Assault with deadly candy: Police responded to a local Sonic Mart last week after an employee was assaulted by an irate customer. The victim told officers the man became angry when he was told to pay for his gas. He picked up a display of Lifesavers candy and attempted to throw it but instead ended up shattering the display on the ground, causing a whopping six dollars in damage. What a Baby Ruth!

imperfect Trade: A 38-year-old woman filed a police report after someone broke into her car and took her iPhone charger and a gold watch. However, while committing the crime, the suspects left behind several CDs on the front seat. Somehow, a gold watch for the new Chickenfoot, Chili Peppers and Lil Wayne albums doesn't seem like such a hot deal.

Threat of the Week: A 34-year-old man called police after he was threatened by three separate men last week. The man told officers he was at home when he received a phone call from the first two suspects, in which they stated, "We are going to have to go to war. I will kill your kids. I will kill your dad." The third suspect had someone else tell the victim that Suspect 3 was going to shoot him. Time to build your own army, dude. You might not want to include dad or Junior, though.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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