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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files

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Biggest Loser: Employees at a local CVS called police after a very motivated person stole from the store. The suspect grabbed 20 Alli diet pill refills, 10 Zantrex diet programs, 10 Hydroxycut diet programs and 10 boxes of Zyrtec allergy medicine. This does not sound like the type of person the employees should've had a problem running down.

Job Well Done: Employees at a Therapeutic Services Group called police after a man couldn't stay confined to the building any longer. Employees told officers that the man jumped out of the window without warning, damaging the exterior of the window. Sounds like he needs therapy ... or, well, more therapy.

You're Cut Off: A 23-year-old woman called police after being threatened by the father of her children. She told officers the man sent her 12 text messages stating, "You are never going to see your kids again. I have a gun, and I am going to shoot you and your boyfriend." Now would be a nice time to go on a vacation. Leave the kids with dad — it seems he has things under perfect control.

Counterfeit Pills: A 55-year-old man filed a police report after his prescription of Hydrocodone pills was stolen from him through fraud. He told officers that he walked into a Walmart to get his prescription filled but was told that it had already been filled. The victim found that a man had intercepted the prescription filled at Biddle Point Clinic by telling employees that the victim was in the car and too sick to retrieve his own pills. Is there any bit of training needed in order to dispense controlled substances?

That Good Stuff: A 39-year-old man called police after being threatened by an unknown suspect. He told officers the man made seven calls to his cell phone at night and stated, "We got some of that AK-47 for your ass." This is the same call idiot weed dealers make all the time; they just like to name their stuff something dangerous. Take him up on his offer. It might take the edge off.

I Can't Read: A 55-year-old woman called police after someone stole an unopened package from her front porch that had been left there by the delivery company. The victim told officers the box contained a 4 Troops CD (which is a singing group for members of the military) and a book called Brady, Brady, Brady (which is a tell-all book about the Brady Bunch TV series). The book was found tossed in a neighbor's backyard and returned to its rightful owner. I just don't understand what crook could turn down such great merchandise.

The Day We Stood Still: A 51-year-old man called police after being threatened by a known suspect. He told officers the man has called multiple times in recent months, but his threats have become more serious lately. The man recently said, "I will kill you and your family. I will destroy your family. I will eliminate your family from this earth." Act now, he's obviously building more advanced weaponry every day.

Cover Up: Employees at a local Marshall's store called police after catching a woman attempting to shoplift. One worker told officers that he watched the woman take a pair of earmuffs from the display, kneel down behind a partition, open the package, put on the muffs and try to walk out the door. The suspect was detained by employees before she could walk out of the store. They tried yelling her name when she started to leave the store but she kept pointing at her ears and saying, "I'm sorry I just can't hear you." It almost worked.

Threat of the Week: A 12-year-old girl's mom filed a report after she was threatened by a known suspect. The mother told officers that a man told her, "I swear I'm going to slit that girl's throat and then shank her." Umm, yeah ... pure evil.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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