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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files

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Repunzel: The parents of a 16-year-old girl called police after they realized that their daughter had run away from home. They told police that they thought she was upstairs in her room listening to music until they went to check on her. It was then that they noticed that she had repelled down from her bedroom window using a bed sheet. If you're going to run away from home to try out for Real World/Road Rules Challenge, you're going to have to do some training.

Inconspicuous: A man was arrested in the parking lot of a North Tryon Street apartment complex after a police officer approached him while he sat in his running car listening to very loud music. The suspect was nonchalantly drinking a beer and made no attempt to hide the unregistered handgun in his waistband. "I'm sorry officer, is this frowned upon?"

Chestnuts Roasting: In three separate police reports, women reported having their houses threatened with the prospect of arson. In one case, a woman was told, "I'm going to break into your house when nobody's home, take everything and burn the place down." In another, a suspect drove past a woman and yelled, "I'm gonna burn this motherfucking house to the ground!" Another woman was threatened over the phone with, "I'm coming over, and I will burn that house down with you in it, you stupid bitch. Then I'm going to choke you." Who's bringing the marshmallows?

Gladiator: An employee at a local group home called police after being assaulted by one of his tenants. The man told police that the suspect had used up his time on the phone, so the employee unplugged it. The suspect then threw the phone at the man, hitting him in the face. He then proceeded to push the man and struck him in the face with a mop. Maybe Russell Crowe is just in town getting in character for an upcoming film.

The Sims: A 28-year-old woman called police after she realized that someone had been posing as her on the Internet. She told officers that during a one-month span, the suspect had hacked into her e-mail account and changed the password. The suspect then sent e-mails to her friends and acted all along as if she was the woman who owned the account. I guess pretending to be someone else in a chat room just isn't enough for some people anymore.

Got Milk?: Police were called to Morgan School this week after a student caused a large disturbance in the cafeteria. Administrators told officers the suspect threw an open carton of milk at another student's face and then began punching him in the face and head. This would be a perfect time to photograph the victim for one of those milk mustache ads.

Please Come Again: Employees at a local gas station called police after catching a man attempting to shoplift from their store for the second time that day. They told officers that the man came into the store earlier and grabbed a pack of Newports before running out of the store and getting away. He then returned and was just getting ready to run out the door with a bag of candy but was stopped before he could make his getaway. Fool me once, shame on me ... Fool me twice ... Well, you can't fool me again.

Pill Freak: A 52-year-old man called police after one of his own family members stole from him. He told officers he was having some family over when he realized that his previously full prescription bottle was suddenly empty, leaving 65 Hydrocodones unaccounted for. Lock the doors and tell everyone the police are coming to search them all. The first one to start foaming at the mouth and shaking probably swallowed the evidence.

Hint, Hint: A 60-year-old man called police after being threatened by a known suspect. The suspect called the man five times and during the last call stated, "I will whoop your ass. I will bust you. What are you – scared I'm going to shoot you when you come over here?" Well no, I hadn't thought of it, but now I'm starting to think you might shoot me if I come over there.

The Hulk: Police were called to Waddell High School after a student caused a disturbance in a classroom. An 18-year-old male told police he was calming down the suspect after an argument when the suspect became irate and pushed a desk over onto the victim. He then threw a stool at a 19-year-old girl who was in the room. Oh, I'm sure it was just a senior prank.

Threat of the Week: A 24-year-old woman called police after being threatened by a very unstable man. The man was on the phone with the victim and stated, "You better tell that bitch in the background that if she doesn't shut up I will kill her. I am definitely going to kill you. You don't know who you are fucking with. I will come down there and tear your face off and mail it to your mother." Could you slip that in an envelope or would you need a small box?

Blotter items are chosen from the file of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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