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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files

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Starting Early: Police were called to James Martin Middle School after a male student was found to be intoxicated. The boy was released to his parents and no charges were pressed. It became obvious the boy was drunk when he slurred to his teacher, "My homework ate my dog, I mean ... umm," then started laughing.

All In The Family: A woman called police after her 14-year-old son beat up his 12-year-old sister. The mother told officers the child struck his sister several times in the face because she was disrespecting their uncle. This just might be the same kid who just got sent home from James Martin MS.

Find The Bacon: A 29-year-old employee of Pizza Hut called police after three men robbed him on his delivery route. He told officers two suspects attacked him and took three pizzas and all of his tip money. The officers called in the K-9 unit to find the two men. Have you ever watched your dog stare at your pizza? That's some damn good motivation to find the guys. Have you ever been pushing 30 and robbed for your pizza delivery money? That's some damn good motivation to find a new career.

That's My Tip: An 18-year-old male told police he was robbed by some known suspects on the way home from a party. He told officers the two men were driving him home on Halloween night while he was passed out drunk in the back seat. The two men in the front seat took his cell phone, his iPod and his wallet. He didn't even realize anything was gone until he woke up, understandably.

Trick or Treat: A 53-year-old CATS bus driver called police after falling victim to the oldest trick in the book on Halloween night. He said that he stopped at a bus stop around 11 p.m. to pick up some people waiting, not realizing that they were wearing Halloween masks. When he opened the door to let them on, they pelted him about the arm, head and face with eggs. You can't blame anyone if you didn't have any treats to offer them.

Treat or Get Cut: A police officer was waved down near Pub at Gateway on Halloween night after a woman was assaulted by another woman she knew. She told officers that she and her friends were at the bar when the suspect approached them and asked if one of them wanted a shot. When the victim told her that nobody wanted anything from her, the suspect hit her in the face with a shot glass, causing a laceration above her right eye. That shouldn't ruin your night, though. Most people have fake lacerations above their right eye as part of their costumes anyway.

Gotta Have Faith: A 38-year-old woman called police after being harassed by a man at her church. She told officers that a man she knows only as the usher at her church has called her twice during the last week, and it's making her feel uncomfortable. Maybe he saw you standing at the last service and he just takes his job very seriously. "Hello? Yes, I just wanted to let you know that we now have some seats open here at Creepy Protestant!" Ummm, yeah but it's Friday ... and it's night.

Bring It Back: Police were called to the scene of a domestic disturbance after a woman switched it up on a man she was arguing with. After a long argument, the man walked out of the couple's apartment and was getting ready to leave while the woman stood in the doorway, not satisfied that she had gotten her point across. Something she said made the man turn around and run at her with balled fists as if he was going to hit her. When he did reach the woman, she simply hit him, knocking him down. She then climbed on top of him and struck him in the face continuously until a bystander broke it up.

Loud Sleeper: Employees of a local catering business called police after finding a man beneath their building. They said when they arrived at work they kept hearing loud snoring coming from under them, and when they opened up the crawl space there was a man sleeping. You will never get a woman if you can't even sleep beneath a business without them hearing you. Then again, and I'm just guessing here, you will probably never get a woman anyway. You sleep in crawl spaces.

Threat of the Week: A 19-year-old female called police after being threatened by a known suspect over the phone. The girl told police that the suspect has called her cell phone 22 times and left her at least six voice mails. During these voice mails the suspect stated, "You better hope that baby comes out successfully. I'm going to beat your ass and I'm going to kill you." Well, look on the bright side of things: At least she wants your baby to be healthy. Or at least she wants you to want your baby to be healthy. I just don't know anymore.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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