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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files

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Shoplifter O.G.: A woman in a Food Lion was witnessed taking items off the shelves and putting them into her purse. Later, after attempting to leave without paying, the woman was confronted. Store items found in her purse included Advil PM, Tylenol Arthritis and Sea-Bond denture adhesive. Medicaid, anyone?

The Ol' Switcheroo: A 37-year-old woman told police that at some point during about a 24-hour period, an unknown suspect stole her son's red bike from the backyard and replaced it with another red bike, probably of lesser value. The theft was not realized until they looked closer at the bike in the yard. This should be smiled upon: I go through lots of police reports and have seen a lot of things reported stolen, and I can tell you that people who steal PlayStation 3s don't usually leave behind any PS2s.

Making A Mess: A grocery store employee watched a young man as he entered a grocery store and took a bag of chips worth one dollar off the shelf. He then opened the bag and started eating them as he walked through the store. At some point, this hungry suspect decided he was done snacking, at which time he shoved the open bag of chips down his pants and tried to walk out of the store. Is that a Pringles can in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Dog Beware of ...: An 18-year-old female reported to police that when she left town earlier this month, she left her pit bull behind along with her rent money for a house sitter to pay. While she was away, the house sitter left with her pit bull and rent money. In an unrelated complaint, a 59-year-old woman reported that an unknown suspect entered her backyard through the fence and stole her Jack Russell terrier.

Deep Trouble: A realty company filed a police report regarding some serious damage done to a house that they were trying to sell. An unknown suspect broke into this house and got to work on his own refreshing form of vandalism. The suspect cut the water lines, causing the entire house to fill with water. This caused $50,000 in damage.

Rude Awakening: A 20-year-old woman was sleeping at her home when a person who lived at the same residence came home. This person then went to where the woman was sleeping and started to hit and spit on her. When the victim attempted to use her phone to call police, the suspect took it from her. The victim then called 911 from a neighbor's house.

Family Matters: A 37-year-old woman called police to report her daughter for breaking and entering. Apparently, the daughter broke the door frame by pushing or kicking the door in and proceeded to take a little less than $1,000 in clothes, jewelry and shoes from her mother. When she was ready to leave, it was time for this genius of a daughter to cover her tracks. This is when she nailed the door frame back in place and painted it ... a different color than the rest of the door. Police are in the process of obtaining video surveillance that may show this act, and I must say I would like to see it too. If only to see this girl kick in a door frame.

Republican Extremism: Two separate people last week filed police reports regarding Barack Obama signs being stolen from their front yards. For those keeping score, let the record show that I found no reports of stolen John McCain signs during this period.

School Spirit: Police responded to a call in which the words Vance High School were spray-painted all around the football field at Mallard Creek High School. The suspects painted all over the windows, sidewalk, football field and a trash can, causing $800 in damage. No word on where these vandals attend school, but I've got a feeling ...

Threat of the Week: A victim called police to report that a known suspect had communicated a threat to him. The suspect stated to the victim, "I want to kill you in several different ways. I want to poison you. I want to peel the skin off your body and pull your eyeballs out of your head." The victim stated that this has been happening for a while. I guess the suspect just can't make up his mind.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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