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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Oct. 2)

You've been warned

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Illegal ink: A woman filed a police report alleging that a tattoo artist — the report doesn't say who — tattooed her 15-year-old daughter without her consent. The suspect did not ask for identification and did not request a signed parental-consent form.

Feel the burn: Though a local Food Lion is listed as the victim in this theft, it seems the real victims are the thieves themselves. A police report indicates that several suspects (it does not list how many) walked out of the grocery store with soap, pasta and hamburger meat stuffed in their pants and handbag. They also apparently walked out with a "frappachina," which should probably be spelled frappuccino. Shoving hot coffee in your pants? Ouch!

The shaft: A Tiger Woods wannabe with a pension for stealing and eating out hit the jackpot recently in the Fairway Row neighborhood. The thief broke into someone's car and stole thousands of dollars worth of golf clubs and equipment and some gift cards to Starbucks, Villa Antonio and The Cheesecake Factory.

A sore sight: DirecTV reported a theft in which someone made off with a TV satellite that was on their front lawn. The real travesty is that those eyesores still exist.

Rim job: Auto Toyz Inc. off North Tryon was slapped with an ABC violation after some employees were found to be exhibiting "sexually explicit conduct" — the report doesn't get into details, unfortunately — and drinking alcohol on the premises.

You've been warned: Usually when someone intends to truly harm someone else, they don't give them fair warning. Fortunately a victim got a heads up to a potential beat-down after someone she knew texted her and said, "I'm coming over this weekend to beat your ass, be ready." Hopefully she will be — with a restraining order.

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.

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