Stop, Drop, Roll: Police responded to an indecent exposure call at a west Charlotte bus stop and found a man who would try anything to stay out of the back of a police car. The man was alleged to have shown his penis to a group of people walking down the sidewalk and screamed profanity at them. When police arrived and tried to arrest the man, he pulled away from officers, then fell to the floor. Police reported he "made his body rigid" to make it more difficult to pick him up and then began rolling down the street like a log in an attempt to get away. He was soon caught, however, and after trying to kick a cop in a last-ditch effort at resistance, he was put into the cruiser.
Pantry Raider: A 37-year-old woman decided that her teenage child's growing appetite was no reason to forget his manners. The woman filed a report against her own juvenile son after he allegedly "stole" two Pop Tarts out of the pantry in the home where they both lived.
Catching Up: A 21-year-old man tried to connect with an old friend last week only to find out that he should have stuck to Facebook. The man told officers that he set up a time and a place (a parking lot) to meet up with an old friend whom he had not seen since high school. When the "old friend" arrived, he immediately put a gun to the victim's temple and demanded that he get out of the car. The victim reportedly refused to leave his car, still thinking that his former buddy was joking. He was not. The suspect took a phone from the victim's lap and ran off.
Revenge: A 24-year-old man found out the hard way why someone should only ask their best friends to help them move. The man said he had his ex-girlfriend helping him instead, and some of his stuff never made it to his new house. Most notably, the man is convinced that the woman stole his Hi-Point nine-millimeter carbine rifle.
Wax Off: A 52-year-old man called police after going through a terrifying trip at a local carwash last week. The man reported that right before his car entered the carwash bay, a man jumped into the passenger seat. While the car was being cleaned, the suspect allegedly relieved the man of his cell phone, watch and cash. Once the car was nice and dry, the man hopped out and went on his way.
Threat of the Week: A 22-year-old woman filed a police report after someone threatened her with an enema of ammo over text message. In one of three threatening texts, the suspect allegedly told the woman, "When I see you, I swear to god, I'm going to shoot you through your ass with bullets, I'm not playing with you."
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.