Ain't from around here: Police responded to a call on North Wendover Road last week in reference to "a bunch of teens hanging around a red truck," because apparently that is a crime now. Police found some weed in the crotch of the jeans of one of the teens, and some more in another teen's pants pocket. This, along with the seizure of some paraphernalia, gave the cops reasonable cause to also seize $95. In a surprising statement that tries to offer "justification" for the cops' actions, the report ends with, "The teens do not live in the community."

Fail: Employees at a local Circle K must have had a laugh while trying to chase down a beer thief last week. The man entered the store and tried to run out with a 12 pack of Natural Light. He made it out of the door with his booty, but not much further. He tripped in the parking lot and shattered all of the beer bottles in the case, according to the report. The man got away.

Intimidators: A few neighbors in north Charlotte fell victim to a vandal obsessed with Dale Earnhardt. Multiple people woke up to find their cars spray painted with the number three on their hoods and side panels. The vandals also spray painted the same number on a couple of garage doors and the diving board at the neighborhood pool.

No tolerance: In more news of teens gone wild to the exasperation of adults, a police report was filed after an 18-year-old woman admitted to having consensual sex with a man. The reason police were involved was that the woman said that the man gave her one alcoholic beverage. She was brought to the hospital by a paramedic.

Thirsty thief: A man couldn't resist the urge to quench his thirst on a hot day last week. He went into a local Compare Foods and allegedly downed a liter of pink lemonade. When the security guard told him he would have to pay for the drink, he became confrontational and ran out of the store.

No. 1 nightmare: A man filed a report after being assaulted while answering nature's call last week. The man told police he was using the bathroom when another man opened the door to his stall and began yelling at him before punching him several times, knocking him to the floor.

Threat of the Week: Country club crime might be on the rise. One man sent another a text last week that read, "Come to my country club so I can kick your ass. I am a crazy motherfucker so kiss your kids every day big boy."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.