Commence Conflict: Police responded to an assault call in south Charlotte last week after a mother and daughter got into an argument over what time the daughter would wake up. The mother told officers that she went to wake up her daughter at 6 a.m. The 19-year-old reported that her mother forcefully grabbed her while she was sleeping "which initiated a physical response in the form of a kick." Apparently she was a robot.
SpaghettiOno: A 39-year-old man called police after realizing that someone had ransacked an entire harvest of tomatoes from his backyard overnight. The man told officers that at some point between midnight and 5 a.m., someone crept onto his lawn and picked 150 tomatoes, damaging some of the plants for good. Chef Boyardee is allegedly the top suspect.
Pesky Pest: A 75-year-old woman called police after she finally had enough of a very persistent scam artist. The woman claims that a man had called her home 3,342 times trying to scam her into sending him money. She told officers that she had told the man repeatedly not to contact her. Apparently he thought the 3,342nd time would be the charm.
Lazy Boy: Officers at Mallard Creek High School filed a report after having to deal with an unruly kid who had apparently run one too many laps in his physical-education career. The school's officer responded to the gym's call about a student disturbance. When he approached the student, the kid yelled, "Fuck this shit, we're working too hard." He then told the officer how much he hated cops and to "leave him the fuck alone." When another CMPD officer arrived, they placed the student under arrest, where he wouldn't have to work as hard.
All You Can Eat: Police responded to a theft call at a Food Lion in west Charlotte last week after the suspect apparently believed he was being smoother than most shoplifters. An employee told officers that he witnessed the man walk to an aisle and open a case of sushi. The man ate a few pieces and put it back. He continued shopping but was stopped after paying for his other groceries.
Like It's Hot: A 60-year-old woman called police to her east Charlotte home after getting a bad deal from a man selling goods door-to-door. She told officers that she let the solicitor into her home to explain what he was selling. While he was talking, she accidentally dropped $110 in cash on the living room floor. Without missing a beat, the man jumped out of his seat, grabbed the greenbacks and ran.
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.