Smooth Criminal A 45-year old north Charlotte woman called CMPD after discovering that she had been robbed for her skin lotions. The larceny took place in the afternoon, when an unknown suspect apparently entered the woman's home "with the intention to permanently deprive" the victim, and her dry elbows, of $38.61 worth of lotion. Though the police reports leave many questions unanswered, one thing is abundantly clear: the lotion wasn't put in the basket.
Amenities Included A woman got more (or maybe less) than she bargained for when she responded to a room-for-rent ad at a Pineville apartment complex. The apartment owner, an unidentified male, brought the woman into his apartment and showed her the available room, then started to tell her more about the amenities included with the rental by pulling down his pants and exposing himself to her. The woman wasn't impressed, and reported the incident to police. She was probably looking to rent something a little bigger, anyways.
Throwback Thief Police responded to a SouthPark neighborhood after a resident noticed that someone had entered her unlocked vehicle and stolen her outdated navigation system. She told police that the only thing the thief had stolen was a piece of paper with directions jotted down on it. Now they know where to look.
Suspicious Bulge These days when a female teacher approaches a male student and asks to see what's in his pocket, the story can go one of two ways. In the case of a north Charlotte teacher inquiring about some bulky cargo a student was hauling in his jeans, it turns out the student wasn't just happy to see her... he was carrying a pocket tool that she considered dangerous. The teacher said she observed the kid walking around Mountain Island Lake Academy with something in his back pocket that "did not appear to be an item for schoolwork." The kid showed her that he was carrying around a Stanley multi-use tool (basically a Swiss Army knife) and she quickly confiscated it.
Car Trouble A bizarre string of auto assaults left at least two cars badly beaten and bloodied on a residential NoDa street. Police were called when neighbors awoke to discover that their vehicles had been victimized overnight. One vehicle had been shot nine times with a pellet gun, and a window was stained with blood. The other vehicle had apparently been kicked several times; a door was dented and a window kicked in, and police discovered visible footprints.
Most Valuable Parent A west Charlotte woman who apparently thought she was Charlotte famous, made it clear that she wouldn't settle for anything less than courtside seats at a recent basketball game. The woman was attending her child's basketball game in an elementary school gym when she relocated herself onto the court. When uniformed officers attempted to move the woman back to the bleachers, the overly-enthused mom refused, and had to be removed from the game.
Not the Usual Suspect One man's lucky day abruptly turned unlucky in South End last week. The soon-to-be-suspect told officers he found a $1 bill and attempted to use it at a South Boulevard ABC store. Though the bill was definitely old enough to be in the 21+ store, it didn't pass inspection at the register and employees notified police, believing it was a counterfeit. It remains unclear what police even thought of the legitimacy of the bill, describing it on the report as "potentially from 1935."
Roadkill Division An unsuspecting opossum recently aided Davidson police in arresting a man with multiple active warrants. The wanted man was driving on East Rocky River Road when he spotted the narc opossum and swerved to avoid it, flipping his car in the process. When police arrived to investigate the single-car accident, they discovered that the man was driving on a permanently revoked license and had warrants out for his arrest in South Carolina.
Failure to Launch Fed up that their adult son hadn't moved out of the family home, an East Charlotte couple decided it was time to take drastic measures. The couple called police to their home and formally banned their son from the property. The wayward son seemed to understand the warning and he agreed to leave the premises, only to immediately return. He probably just forgot his nightlight.
Personal Foul By now it should be an unspoken rule that using CraigsList to buy anything more valuable than an IKEA nightstand is pretty risky business. Apparently a SouthPark man didn't get the memo when he used the site to purchase a pair of tickets to the Super Bowl. After wiring $3,000 to the CraigsList seller — breaking Common Sense Rule #2: Never Wire Money to Strangers — the man received his envelope in the mail. The problem was that the only thing in the envelope was an empty piece of paper. The man told police that he blew all the money he had on the tickets, which begs the question, how was he planning to get to San Fransisco?
Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty.