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Best of The Blotter 2007

A look back at the year's dumbest local crimes and criminals

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THREE STRIKES AND YOU'RE OUT: An officer reported to the scene of a car accident on Freedom Drive where he found a 35-year-old man unconscious in the driver's seat. The man was drunk, so the officer arrested him and charged him with DWI before taking him to the hospital where he was treated for his injuries. Once at the hospital, the medics found a firearm hidden in his pants. The officer discovered that the gun was stolen and once the man was cleared from the hospital, he took him to jail.

BEST THREATS

• Dr. Seuss is back, but this time he's switched from children's stories to the art of making threats. An early morning e-mailer sent the following threat at 6 a.m.: "I will kill him or them, then you." The e-mailer added, "and then I will kill myself."

• A woman received a phone call from a man who had just shattered the top of a glass table and smashed two flower pots on her porch. She was made aware of the damage via telephone from the destructor. He said: "I'm over here at your house tearing up your shit, bitch." As the police report indicates: "The victim arrived home to discover that the suspect had indeed done just that."

• A woman reported that her cable guy delivered a threat to her after they got in an argument. While still in her house he said, "Don't forget, I know where you live." The woman believes the threat is credible as the cable guy was acting very erratic.

• A woman told police that an unrelated person called her in the afternoon with this message: "I am going to kill you. I will leave you alone in a hole! You need to pack your things and move!"

• A man reported he received three threatening phone calls from an unknown person. "Are you white, you motherfucker?" The man asked who the caller was. "It's your mama." The caller said, "I'm going to cut your throat, you motherfucker," and "I'm going to kill you, you motherfucker." The calls were made from a private number.

• A woman reported that someone called her about 100 times within five months, at times threatening her. "I'll kill you and your baby." "I'll come over there and beat you up." "I can't hit you in the stomach, but I'll slap your face." "Bitch get your number changed if you don't want me to call your phone." "You've seen the way I blacked (some guy's) eye, I'll do the same to your baby."

• A 40-something woman reported receiving 50 phone calls within seven hours. The suspect said, "I'm gonna stick [a] gun in you tomorrow at school." The victim told the suspect not to call again, but the calls continued.

• A woman reported someone called her and said, "Come on over here so we can fight! I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't leave him alone!" The caller has also told the woman that she is going to call the Department of Social Services and have the woman's children taken away.

• A woman reported someone called her, saying, "Bitch, I'm going to kick her ass," and urging her to come to the door. The suspect then began kicking the door in.

• A man called a woman to demand his money or he would, "Be up there to shut the house down."

• A woman told another, "I am going to ride by your house and blow it up."

• A woman told police that someone called her more than 1,000 times within two weeks. The suspect said, "I'll show you I have a backbone." How did this suspect plan to do that? Well, the suspect repeatedly said, "I'm gonna choke you and slap you in front of your children." That's backbone.

• A man grew angry when his wife refused to pick him up at 2 a.m., so he tried to coax her in an unsurprisingly ineffective way. "I'll take a cab, and when I get back, I'll kill you!" he said.

• A woman reported that someone made 27 harassing phone calls in 45 minutes on a recent afternoon. His best line? "I'll drive this car through your truck." In a separate incident, someone called a woman to tell her, "I will come to Charlotte and kill you. I have a gun with your name written all over it. If I go to court, it will be for something real."

• One person offered an innovative incentive to someone behind on his bills. "It would be in your best interest to pay the last bill," he told the debtor. "If you don't, we will do something to the property so you won't have any grass."

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