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IN HOT WATER: Two roommates had an argument over who'd get to use the shower first. The loser of the argument left the apartment, but not before stealing money from his bathing roommate. The winner responded by eventually finding the thief, running him over with a car, and beating him with a baseball bat.
HOW'S THAT WORK?: A man received a handful of harassing phone calls recently. He told the caller to stop but the calls kept coming. The man on the other end threatened to damage his property, telling the man, "I'm gonna come by there and shoot up your house if you don't pay for the stuff I stole."
RUDE AWAKENING: A woman woke suddenly in her motel room to find a man breaking in through the window. The man didn't harm her but kept asking for Tony. There was no Tony in the room, so the man apologized and left the woman frightened and puzzled.
BED BUGS?: A man came home to discover that his roommate had filled his bedsheets with cooked pasta, and his pillowcase with jelly. The distraught roommate blamed it on the fact that his so-called friend was a dropout and must've been bored.
DRIVE FAST, MAN!: A thief decided he'd like to steal an armful of leather coats from a department store one evening. The only hitch in his plan was that he had no getaway car. He went for it anyway and stole the coats. As for a getaway vehicle, the man simply hailed a cab. He was later apprehended in the cab and the coats were returned.
TALK ABOUT IRONY: While a man was in jail serving time for burglary, his apartment was broken into and everything was stolen.
ERSATZ ANTHRAX: While getting her mail one afternoon, a woman noticed a white powdery substance on and in her mailbox. She immediately called police and a task force was dispatched. When officers arrived, they noticed the powder on and in the woman's neighbors' mailboxes too. Upon closer inspection, the substance was found to be baby powder. The task force on the scene wiped the area clean.
HIGHLY FLAMMABLE: One foolish vandal must not have read the warning label on a can of spray paint, because he ran it through a gas clothes dryer at a laundromat. The can blew up and set fire to another clothes dryer and a vending machine. The walls and ceilings of the room were also damaged. The fire department responded to the explosion and extinguished the flames before they got out of control.
THAT'LL TEACH HER: After an argument, a woman told a man never to return to her home. He did, two days later, but said nothing to the woman, nor did he approach her. He simply walked up to a tree in her yard, cut off a limb, picked it up, and left.
PAINFUL ALLOWANCE: When her son acted up the other day, a mother grabbed the boy's piggy bank and hit him over the head with it.
RUDE AWAKENING: A woman woke up one morning to find herself in an unfamiliar hotel room. She did not know how she got there, what she did the night before, or if she'd had any sexual relations.
IMPATIENT DRUNKS: The Sunday alcohol law was tested recently when a man and his wife went into a convenience store to buy beer. After being informed that they were too early, the man took the beer and smashed it on the ground. While they exited the store toward their car, they noticed the store clerk writing down their license plate number. They promptly re-entered the store and pummeled him.
SPEED DATING: An apparently lonely and none too suave man called a woman to tell her, "If you don't go out with me, I will damage your windows and slash your tires."
THOU SHALT NOT STEAL: Risking eternal damnation, a thief entered a Christian music store and stole a handful of CDs.
DETAILING FROM HELL: To protect his brand new car's shine, a man dropped a protective cover over it. The cover claims to repel dirt, water, and snow. But when the man looked out of his window late one night, he saw that his car's cover was on fire.
CAN'T GET NO SATISFACTION: One man must have had someone waiting at home for him, because he rushed into a convenience store and rushed out with a pack of condoms he didn't pay for. He was detained in the parking lot.
GOOD SAMARITAN PROFILING?: A woman recently called police to report that an unknown man pulled up in his car next to her as she was walking in a parking lot and offered her a ride. She said no and he drove off. The woman then called police and told them that she didn't feel threatened at all but you just never know.
