* In a local drugstore, a man removed the outer packaging of The Nutty Professor and a baby pacifier and concealed the items under his clothes. The act was witnessed on security cameras, and the man was confronted by an employee. When asked about the stolen goods, the man said that he was armed and wanted no interference with his exit. The employee let him go and called police.
* A woman reported that she had received a threatening phone call from a man who told her, "I have two contracts on you. I will make some phone calls. Rae Carruth was stupid. I know how to cover myself." The woman is afraid of the caller and believes he'll try to cause her harm.
* Got Milk? A man reported that his girlfriend came to the convenience store where he was working and threw a milk rack through his windshield, then slashed all four of his tires.
* After being dumped by his girlfriend, a man decided to get revenge by lighting a pair of her shoes on fire in a neighboring yard and subsequently throwing the flaming footwear at her. Luckily, his aim needed some work and the woman emerged unscathed only to hurl the still smoldering shoes back at him. Her aim was also a bit off, causing the shoes to land in a flowerbed and ignite a small fire.
* While spending a leisurely night at a local motel with a 12-pack of beer, a man left his room to get some ice. At the ice machine, he met three people and invited them back to his room. They began to drink and the man passed out after one beer. He awoke to find that his three new friends had disappeared along with his car and credit card. The man told police they must have slipped something in his drink.
* When a woman took her brand new BMW through a car wash, she neglected to close her sunroof. This completely destroyed all of her car's electrical components, causing $28,000 worth of damage.
* A protective mother and her young son were shopping at a drugstore when an employee saw the boy attempting to steal small toys. The employee confronted the boy only to have his mother claim that her son was not stealing. A few minutes later the boy tried to steal a toy again and the employee again intervened. This time the mother became agitated and started swinging and swearing at the clerk. Before leaving the store, the woman hurled a glass bottle at the man, injuring his pinky finger.
* A man received a phone call from someone claiming to be with the FBI. The caller warned him that a convict was lurking in his backyard. Suspicious of the caller's identity, the man checked his caller ID and called the number back. Instead of the FBI, he reached a voice mailbox and left a message. Returning the call, the man said that he was actually the convict in the backyard and not an FBI agent. He then threatened the man and his family and has called back several times.
* A woman discovered that her home had been broken into by rather discriminating thieves. Skipping electronics and jewelry, they went straight for the bathroom and took the shower curtain, toilet brush, and several towels. Two rugs and several dishes were also stolen.
* Locks on 30 trailers were broken by unknown suspects at a shipping company. The suspects decided to steal one trailer containing, among other things, 1500 pairs of athletic shoes. While attempting to pull the trailer out of its parking spot with a stolen truck-tractor, they struck another parked truck-tractor. The thieves are wanted for larceny and also hit-and-run since they failed to leave proper information after colliding with the parked vehicle while trying to steal a trailer.
* A man broke into two unoccupied new homes and stole the kitchen stoves. He placed them in the back of his truck and attempted to flee the neighborhood. His plan was foiled, however, when his truck was involved in an accident near the entrance to the subdivision. Both stoves fell off the truck and the man sped away, leaving them behind.
* A man called the police when he noticed that someone had painted the entire backside of his condo, including the windows and sliding glass door, fluorescent yellow. The man's car had recently been egged and spray painted as well. The neighbors don't recall seeing anything suspicious.
* Burglars intent on robbing a local business found their plot foiled when they were unable to break into the safe. Not wanting to leave empty-handed, they did manage to remove a bubble gum machine from the building. The machine was found outside, but $10 worth of gum had been stolen.
* A man who was angry with a neighbor for letting her dog run loose in the neighborhood confronted her and an argument erupted. Things became heated and they began to call each other "improper names." The man then placed his hands on his hips and began bumping the woman with his chest, pushing her backwards several feet and out of the street. He turned and returned to his house, but paused just before entering to moon the offended dog owner.
* A man called a wrecker company and said that his father's trailer had broken down and needed to be towed. Upon arrival, the wrecker company discovered that the trailer didn't belong to either the man or his father, and that he was attempting to use the wrecker company to steal it for him.
* Returning to the office one afternoon, a few lawyers discovered that their office building had been vandalized. Eggs had been splattered against the outside walls and a note hanging on the front door read, "all lawyer's (sic) must die." No suspects could be identified.
* A carjacker picked the wrong vehicle to approach late one night. The would-be robber approached the passenger side window and demanded that the driver open the door. The robber was holding his hand behind his back and appeared to be concealing a weapon. When the driver didn't open the door, the man raised his hand to punch out the window. The driver, who happened to be an on-duty police officer, raised his shirt to reveal his badge and gun and reached for a handheld radio. The unlucky culprit muttered an expletive and backed away from the car.
* When a woman found an intruder breaking into her apartment through an upstairs window, she tried telling him to leave. When he refused to go away, she went downstairs, retrieved a baseball bat, and repeatedly whacked the unwelcome guest in the leg with it until police arrived.
* Consistency counts: A man entered a convenience store in the middle of the day and stole four 18-packs of beer. This came as no surprise to employees because the man had stolen the exact same thing seven different times from the store. This time, an employee tried to restrain the man, but only managed to grab his hat as the man and the beer disappeared out the front door yet again.
* A woman arrived at work one day and found that all her calendars and a poster had been ripped off the wall of her office. She also discovered that her scissors and stapler had been broken and her computer modem disrupted. Police have a lead in the case, as two cleaning women had been involved in an altercation the previous night in the same office.
* A man got into a tussle with two other men, and was getting the worst of it as he was put in a headlock and flung onto a vacuum cleaner. This apparently gave the assailants an idea; as the victim fled in an attempt to reach his car, the other two men pursued him, one holding a baseball bat, the other an extension for the vacuum cleaner. Before the hapless man could reach his car, he was struck on the neck, back and shoulders with the vacuum extension.
* A watchful do-gooder saved his neighbor from a major headache when he called police after he observed four males crawling through the rear bathroom window of a nearby house. As he talked to police on the phone, the man watched the four criminals ransack the house while removing video equipment from the living room and clothes from the bedroom. As the foursome were making their way out the back window with their loot, the police pulled up.
* The unintentional Samaritan: A man participating in a charity walk was taken advantage of as he performed his good deed. He left several items, including money, car keys and a pack of cigarettes, on a chair while he participated in the event. The man returned to find the items gone.
* A woman's cell phone was stolen from her house by someone she knew. The woman told the person not to take the phone, but when she turned around, the person grabbed the phone and ran out the door. Later that day the woman called her phone in order to find out where it was. She asked the person who answered how they got the phone. The person said the phone thief had sold it to him for drugs. The woman then said that the phone was hers not the thief's to sell and asked the new owner if he would please give it back, no questions asked. The person refused, saying he would only give it back to her for a fee. The upset woman said she didn't have the extra money to buy back her own phone. The person then said that was too bad because she wouldn't get her phone back.
* Huge picnic in the works: An unknown person broke into a cooler located outside a restaurant and stole 60 pounds of ham, 300 pounds of flour, 200 pounds of corn meal, 100 pounds of potatoes and 12 gallons of cole slaw mix.
* A woman returning home from work found that all of her lawn ornaments were missing. The items stolen include a cement statue of a dog, a fountain with the head of a woman and a dolphin lamp with a dish attached.
* The advances of modern technology: A woman reported receiving multiple threats both over the phone and on her answering machine. The caller said, "You owe me $1500, or else I will fuck your (car) up so much that you won't even know it's your car." The caller added that he planned to blow the woman's "motherfucking brains out" with his gun. The woman recognized the caller's voice and knew where he was calling from because she has caller ID.
* Wild Walkie-talkie: Two thieves intent on robbing a department store were caught when a store security officer noticed an unusual bulge in the front of the men's pants. The officer watched on a monitor as the first man placed a two-way radio down the front of his pants. The second person then did the same. The men were caught and arrested. The radios were wiped off and placed back on the shelf.
* A person tried to cash a bogus check made out for almost $3000. When the store employee found out the check was fake, she tried unsuccessfully to hold the forger until police arrived. The person will probably be caught though, as he left his driver's license on the counter.
* Cruelty to fruit: Several unknown people stole two watermelons from a garden. The fruit weighed 75 and 80 pounds, respectively. The thieves also rode through the land on a four wheeler, crushing 30 watermelons in the process.
* An angry mother called police to report that someone gave her 16-year-old daughter a tattoo without first getting Mom's approval.
* A man went out on a couple of dates with the mother of a teenager. Everything was going so well, the mother asked her new beau to escort her son on a fishing trip. When he decided he didn't want to see her (or the son) anymore, she got angry, called his home and threatened, "If you don't take my son fishing, I'm going to kill you."
* For quite some time, a woman has been looking for her cat which, she has now deduced, was stolen by "some people" who lived down the street. She called the police to tell them she's been trying to locate her cat since 1997.
* Saga of a Vacuum Cleaner: The suspect and the victim got into an argument over a vacuum cleaner. But it is more complicated than that. Just who the suspect and the victim happens to be changes from report to report because both women involved called the police, claiming to have been assaulted by the other. The same officer responded to both calls and wrote up reports on both. The first woman to call in was in her 50s and the argument/assault occurred at her house. The second woman is in her mid-20s. Here are the accounts:
"On 10-28-01 between 1800 hours and 1822 hours the suspect assaulted the victim. The suspect and the victim got into an altercation about a vacuum cleaner at the home of the older woman."
How the older woman described what happened next: "She knocked at my door yelling for me to come out."
How the younger woman described it: "I knocked on her door in order to get my vacuum cleaner."
Older woman: "When I opened the door she entered my home and grabbed me."
Younger woman: "Suddenly she opened the door and grabbed me with both hands."
Older woman: "She grabbed me with both hands by the throat and pulled me outside."
Younger woman: "She grabbed me around the chest area then hit me in the face."
Then, "the victim and the suspect got into a scuffle outside the apartment that ended up back inside the apartment."
Older woman: "That's when her friend, suspect number two, entered the apartment and grabbed me by the hair."
Younger woman: "She then bit me in the upper chest area once inside the apartment. She then picked up a knife and tried to strike me with the knife."
In the end, "the victim[s] wanted to prosecute and was going to the magistrate's office Monday to sign out warrants for the suspect['s] arrest."
