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Best Of The Blotter 2001

The tip of the iceberg of the city's creeps, crimes, misdemeanors, obsessions, bad judgment and criminal stupidity

* A restaurant ex-employee ordered a meal of chicken to go. He picked up the food, but refused to pay. The man fled the scene with the chicken and attempted to escape in a car that had been linked to several hit and run cases in the area. The man never had the opportunity to eat the chicken, however, as, shortly after leaving the restaurant, his car crashed into a cement median. A police officer investigating the hit and run cases found the stolen chicken, "evenly spread at high velocity across the back seat." The car and the chicken were towed away.

* In a local drugstore, a man removed the outer packaging of The Nutty Professor and a baby pacifier and concealed the items under his clothes. The act was witnessed on security cameras, and the man was confronted by an employee. When asked about the stolen goods, the man said that he was armed and wanted no interference with his exit. The employee let him go and called police.

* A woman reported that she had received a threatening phone call from a man who told her, "I have two contracts on you. I will make some phone calls. Rae Carruth was stupid. I know how to cover myself." The woman is afraid of the caller and believes he'll try to cause her harm.

* Got Milk? A man reported that his girlfriend came to the convenience store where he was working and threw a milk rack through his windshield, then slashed all four of his tires.

* After being dumped by his girlfriend, a man decided to get revenge by lighting a pair of her shoes on fire in a neighboring yard and subsequently throwing the flaming footwear at her. Luckily, his aim needed some work and the woman emerged unscathed only to hurl the still smoldering shoes back at him. Her aim was also a bit off, causing the shoes to land in a flowerbed and ignite a small fire.

* While spending a leisurely night at a local motel with a 12-pack of beer, a man left his room to get some ice. At the ice machine, he met three people and invited them back to his room. They began to drink and the man passed out after one beer. He awoke to find that his three new friends had disappeared along with his car and credit card. The man told police they must have slipped something in his drink.

* When a woman took her brand new BMW through a car wash, she neglected to close her sunroof. This completely destroyed all of her car's electrical components, causing $28,000 worth of damage.

* A protective mother and her young son were shopping at a drugstore when an employee saw the boy attempting to steal small toys. The employee confronted the boy only to have his mother claim that her son was not stealing. A few minutes later the boy tried to steal a toy again and the employee again intervened. This time the mother became agitated and started swinging and swearing at the clerk. Before leaving the store, the woman hurled a glass bottle at the man, injuring his pinky finger.

* A man received a phone call from someone claiming to be with the FBI. The caller warned him that a convict was lurking in his backyard. Suspicious of the caller's identity, the man checked his caller ID and called the number back. Instead of the FBI, he reached a voice mailbox and left a message. Returning the call, the man said that he was actually the convict in the backyard and not an FBI agent. He then threatened the man and his family and has called back several times.

* A woman discovered that her home had been broken into by rather discriminating thieves. Skipping electronics and jewelry, they went straight for the bathroom and took the shower curtain, toilet brush, and several towels. Two rugs and several dishes were also stolen.

* Locks on 30 trailers were broken by unknown suspects at a shipping company. The suspects decided to steal one trailer containing, among other things, 1500 pairs of athletic shoes. While attempting to pull the trailer out of its parking spot with a stolen truck-tractor, they struck another parked truck-tractor. The thieves are wanted for larceny and also hit-and-run since they failed to leave proper information after colliding with the parked vehicle while trying to steal a trailer.

* A man broke into two unoccupied new homes and stole the kitchen stoves. He placed them in the back of his truck and attempted to flee the neighborhood. His plan was foiled, however, when his truck was involved in an accident near the entrance to the subdivision. Both stoves fell off the truck and the man sped away, leaving them behind.

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