10. Open designer golf cart dealership, featuring
special souped-up models like "Forget Hell!", "The
Fightin' Fetus," and "The Gay-liminator."
9. Catch up on what's been happening on The
Anna Nicole Show.
8. Chain himself to entrance gate at Johnson C.
Smith University in protest of higher education for
7. Make Strom Thurmond decide once and for all
whether their stand-up comedy tour will be called
"Paleolithic Pals" or "The Crumbling Crackers."
6. Finish designing his own violent PlayStation game
called "Lynch" (and lobby to get it rated "E for
5. Build detailed model of Great Smoky Mountains
National Park, then smash it to bits and put up
miniature paper mills.
4. Accept offer to lecture at Kabul U. in Afghanistan on
"The Rotten, Stinking, Skin-baring Evils of the Modern
3. Finance the remaking of Birth of a Nation
(keeping it in "blacks-and-whites" rather than in
2. Track down former governor Jim Hunt and beat
living shit out of him.
1. Go home to the old plantation and begin overdue
refurbishing of slave cabins. -- CL STAFF
RICK BRAGPulitzer-Prize winning New York
Times reporter Rick Bragg's name may sound
haughty, but the Alabama-born best-selling
author/straight-shooter isn't one to put on airs. He'll
appear at readings and book signings in blue jeans
and a T-shirt or a simple oxford. He prefers good,
solid, put-meat-on-your-bones cuisine, even when it
inevitably does just that. He's not a big fan of fusion of
any sort, actually, unless i