Q: So how did you like the Olympics this time around?
A: The Olympics? Oh God, is it over yet? I gotta be honest: I'm not the biggest sports fan. So the idea of athletic events taking over TV networks for what seemed like centuries was tantamount to waterboarding for me. I mean, it's just not cool when a stupid water polo match keeps me from watching the latest episode of Snapped!
And I can't be the only one. There has to be other folks out there who are sick of Michael Phelps winning hundreds of gold medals per second, digitally manufactured fireworks and 12-year-old girls pretending to be 16. Anyone? Anyone?
Thankfully, it's over. Now I can get back to watching Saturday Night Live. And China can get back to violating human rights, filling the skies with poisonous gas and churning out lead-laden children's toys.
That said, I must admit that the table tennis matches were dope.
See you in 2012!