I'm a 35-year-old GGG married male with a 33-year-old not-so-GGG wife. We've been together 17 years and married four months. She was a virgin when we met and she's never been too sexual a person. I am a very sexual person, but she kept me satisfied with oral, dress-up, sex in different places — things like that. Things really started to fall off sexually around our 10th year together. When I mentioned it, she said that she felt I was never going to marry her, so why should she give me 100 percent? I enjoy oral and watching women masturbate, and she wouldn't do either and blamed it on the marriage thing. Five years later, I gave her the big wedding she wanted. I actually enjoy being married. Now, here's my dilemma: She won't do anything besides traditional sex — and only when she's awake enough to actually have sex, and I always have to initiate. When I mention things like oral or toys or masturbation, she says she feels uncomfortable doing things like that. If she would have told me this before, my decision to get married might have been different. I don't want her to do anything that makes her feel uncomfortable or degraded. But in my opinion, what I'm asking for is not "kinky," certainly when compared to some of the things I could be into.
We've had this discussion consistently throughout our short marriage, with no sign of her even trying. Am I doomed to a bad marriage, or is there something I can do? Because talking isn't working. I feel she lied to me to get me to marry her, and now I don't know what to do. Any advice is appreciated.
Lots Of Sexual Tension
All your options are bad, LOST.
Stay married, stay faithful, and stew in your own frustration and resentment until you die; stay married, cheat with cause, and hope you don't get caught; inform your spouse that you're not going to ask her to do things she's not comfortable with but you're also not going to ask for her permission to do those things with other women, and be cast as the villain when she files for divorce; or initiate the divorce yourself, find a new partner, and make sure your new partner both enjoys sex and enjoys the kinds of sex you do before you marry her. (Hint: If she likes sex, and likes the stuff you like, she'll want to do that stuff whether you're married to her or not.)
Sorry, LOST, but that's all I got.
I'm a 26-year-old woman who lives with two other women around the same age. My roommate G has a boyfriend. She introduced me to two of her guy friends. This past weekend, I went bar-hopping with the two guys. Long story short, I slept with one of the guys. After I told my roommates about that night, G revealed that she had slept with the guy before. Now G is upset with me. I would like to sleep with this guy again, and I don't feel like G is right to make me feel like crap or make this all about her. Any thoughts?
Had Some Fun
You know that scene at the end of Inglourious Basterds when Brad Pitt's Nazi-killin' character pulls out a huge knife and carves a swastika into the forehead of the one Nazi he isn't allowed to kill, because he wants everyone to know the dude was a Nazi even after the war? Unless your friend G is willing to do something similar — carve her initials into the forehead of every rando dude she fucks — she can't complain when a friend accidentally hooks up with a guy she hooked up with two years, two months, two days, or two hours ago.
G is not right to make you feel like crap, HSF, and I recommend that you fuck the shit out of this guy at least two more times to drive that point home.