Remember your childhood when Halloween meant playing dress-up, going to haunted houses, trick-or-treating and visiting pumpkin patches to carve pumpkins and make homemade pumpkin pie? But now, as an adult, Halloween has transformed into "Dress Like a Slut" night. As in, when you ask a girl what she's dressed up as she'll respond with "slutty (insert occupation here)." I don't know who profits more from Halloween ... Morris Costumes or Victoria's Secret.
But Halloween isn't just about tricking. For some, it's a treat to get creative and construct a costume -- and I guess since you're in costume, you're not yourself -- and therefore don't really have to be yourself. Halloween allows us be kids again, and there were a lot of people acting like kids -- as in not being able to hold their alcohol. Because a Charlotte Halloween is like Mardi Gras -- it starts with Gravediggers ball and lasts a week -- Halloweek.
Since I declared "Dress Like a Slut" night against my religion, I opted to go over to my domestic friend's house to join them in greeting trick-or-treaters, hoping it would revive my spirit in the Halloween holiday. But I guess that whole slutty costume thing starts early now because I saw a prepubescent in what I fear was a "Slutty Disney Princess" get-up.
I was asked to judge a few costume contests, and I didn't want to go as a party pooper. So, I decided to throw together a makeshift costume -- and into my closet I went. I figured I could just wear regular clothes and tell everyone I'm a hippie. But I ended up breaking out my old TopCat warm-up uniform paired with my boxing gloves -- and the "cheerleaders fighting in the bathroom" costume was born.
While judging the costume contest I eliminated all the slutty costumes immediately and voted for people actually wearing costumes. I saw the swine flu, the Sham Wow guy, Inspector Gadget, lots of guys in leotards going as Beyonce, and my personal favorite -- a blind Jake Delhomme. (See the Scrapbook of Shenanigans: The Best of Halloween edition on Brittney After Dark for photos.)
But the best part of Halloween is the fact all the bar bathroom attendants give out candy, so, in a way, I got to go trick-or-treating, too.