Dear readers: I'm on vacation. The question and answer in this week's column is a recent installment of the "Savage Love Letter of the Day," which folks with the SLAPP — the Savage Love app for iPhone or Android — receive daily via the miracle of modern technology.
If you have the SLAPP, you've already read this question and second-guessed my answer. Sorry about that. If you don't have the SLAPP, you're not getting your full weekly dose of Savage Love, and I'm sorry about that, too.
I'm a 27-year-old straight guy. This girl I work with is everything I want in a partner. We've been flirting at work and on Facebook, and it's getting to the point where one of us has to make a move. But she's already got a boyfriend. I've been the guy who gets cheated on, and I won't do that to someone else.
Also, I've recently been promoted and I'm now her immediate superior. She's a shit employee: lazy, rude to customers, and last week I had to call her on a really basic mistake. Despite these complications, I want to make a real move on her. But how do I get around these issues?
Frustrated In Sydney
I'm having a hard time reconciling "everything I want in a partner" with "willing to cheat on her boyfriend."
A previous girlfriend cheated on you and that was a traumatizing experience. Do you really want to be with another woman who's capable of cheating on her boyfriend?
Also: My naturally suspicious nature has me wondering if she didn't see your promotion coming — the one that made you her immediate supervisor — and the flirting always was and still is an insurance policy that protects her from being fired.
Right now, you're not going to fire her because you want to fuck her, FIS, and once you've fucked her, you won't be able to fire her because she'll be able to accuse you of sexual harassment. See how that works?
My advice: Go to your boss and tell him that a little innocent coequal-coworker-to-coequal-coworker flirtation has been queered by your promotion, and it would be a sensitive situation even if the other employee was a good worker. But she's a shit worker, and if she doesn't shape up, someone is going to have to fire her.
And that someone can't be you.
Ask your boss to place this girl under someone else, FIS, and after this girl's new immediate supervisor fires her, you'll quickly find out if she was ever really interested in being "placed" under you at all.
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