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A different type of DADT

How should wife handle her husband's deployment?


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My husband and I are both in our mid-20s. He's in the military, and our relationship, though imperfect, is strong; we're both happy with — and good to — each other. Not long ago, we decided that a "monogamish" arrangement appealed to us both, and we renegotiated the terms of our relationship. He recently got orders for a yearlong deployment, and one of the many things we need to do before he leaves, I think, is have another conversation about nonmonogamy. I think we should adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I doubt I could tolerate the inevitable stress of this upcoming year if I were expected to abstain from sex for the duration. But it's unlikely that either of us would want to hear about the other's casual hookups when we're separated by nine time zones. Yet I can't bring myself to speak up, because I'm already so jealous of the people he might fuck while I'm on the opposite side of the world and unable to fuck him myself. Suddenly, the thought of my husband with someone else is nearly intolerable. What would you do in this situation?

Worried I Fear Estrangement

If my husband were about to deploy to a war zone, I would probably do what you're doing, WIFE: I would worry about sex —I would worry about the people who might want to fuck my deployed husband — because that would provoke less anxiety than worrying about the people who might want to harm my deployed husband.

Talk to your husband, WIFE, and put that "don't ask, don't tell" policy on the table. Considering that you'll most likely have more opportunities than he will over the next 12 months, a DADT policy may be precisely what your husband wants while he's deployed. And share your feelings of jealousy with him. Those feelings are not only normal and natural, WIFE, they're a good sign. It would be more worrisome if you didn't care who he fucked and he didn't care who you fucked. And your husband may share your chief concern: It's one thing to think about your partner fucking someone else when you're around (and you're able to fuck your partner, too, and remind your partner why he's with you), and it's quite another thing to think about your partner fucking someone else when you're not around.

Feelings of jealousy and insecurity can make a person feel like she's not cut out for a monogamish relationship. But it's working through those inevitable feelings of jealousy and insecurity — with your partner — that proves you are cut out for one.

Good luck, WIFE, and I hope your husband comes home safe and sound.

I have rarely ever been able to have an orgasm during intercourse. The few times it happened, I was stimulating my clit. But I think my body is used to clitoral orgasms without a penis thrusting inside my vagina. Recently, I started mixing pot and sex. I've been a pot smoker for years but never thought to have sex on pot before. It has always been just a social thing with friends. It is incredible! Marijuana relaxes my body and heightens my senses so that when my BF and I have sex, I come! And come and come — and I squirt, which I have NEVER done before! When we have sex without smoking, the sex is still great, but I don't orgasm like I do when I'm high. I feel like I need weed to orgasm the way I want to. Before I dated my BF, I smoked pot only once a month or so. Now I'm doing it once a week at least. My sex life is finally amazing AND fulfilling. Three questions: (1) Does this sound like a huge problem? (2) Should I be worried? (3) What do you suggest?

Blazing Orgasms Newly Gained

1. It does sound like a problem — a problem that's been solved.

2. Not if you live in Colorado or Washington State, BONG, where voters legalized pot use in last November's election.

3. A vaporizer.

If you have two friends, one male and one female, who are both married (not to each other) and looking for an affair, is it OK to put them in touch with each other? May I bring them together in the same way I would two single people — throw a party with lots of alcohol? The man is in a sexless marriage and wants to get laid. The woman is getting divorced and needs to get laid. Note: The man and I have sex every few months. It's awesome sex, and he has a gorgeous body. I would like to offer this to my female friend, who could use it, but I'm not sure how he would feel about being passed around. What should I do?

Is This How Ashley Madison Got Started?

You should go to the liquor store.


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