71 Decide to sell your Charlotte home and move to a "real city." Change your mind after the only apartment you can afford near New York is a 400-square-foot basement studio in Jersey City, despite the broker's kind offer to throw in a free space heater.
72 Finally peel the "W the President" sticker off the back of your SUV. But don't remove the stickers from your kids' private south Charlotte schools.
73 Get your groove on at a concert presented by local promoter Michael Kitchen. He brings all the dope soul and hip-hop artists to town for your enjoyment.
74 Get your geek on by shopping at the acclaimed comic book shop Heroes Aren't Hard to Find -- and check out the huge comic convention the store sponsors every summer.
75 Purchase some tasty meat on a stick at one of the many street food carts scattered throughout the downtown area.
76 Experience some live poetry -- or spit a little yourself -- at the Wine Up in NoDa.
77 Be counted among the truly hip by shopping at trendy SouthEnd boutiques like Niche, Black Sheep and -- hell -- even American Apparel.
78 Attend the gallery crawl in NoDa.
79 Ponder why an NFL team that went to the Super Bowl has a mascot with a cutesy name like Sir Purr.
80 Hedge a mutual fund then buy a downtown condo. In 10 years, maybe we can convince city council to change our name to Newer York.
81 Pine for the good ole' days when the Nature Boy and Dale Senior were the only sports heroes in town.
82 Anybody can write in a letter to the editor here at Creative Loafing. Only real Charlotteans don't answer the phone or reply to e-mails requesting permission to print their letters.
83 Tour the Afro-American Cultural Center.
84 Buy watermelon from the old guy parked on the side of the road and eat it all on your front porch.
85 Work for Bank of America or Wachovia.
86 Get married and have babies.
87 Recognize that Charlotte has one of the largest populations of singles in the country and do your best to meet every one of them.
88 Sunday Brunch at Boudreaux's is the essential hangover cure for that wild Saturday night out. Try the mimosas if you still need a drink.
89 Local festivals! Mark your calendar to visit Novello, Mint Hill Madness, Festival in the Park, etc.
90 Immediately stop at the sight of the "Hot Doughnuts" sign at Krispy Kreme. A true Charlottean knows it is practically a sin to pass hot doughnuts by.
91 Enjoy fried pickles at the Penguin. If you haven't had fried pickles at the Penguin, you're missing an unforgettable and delicious taste.
92 If you work downtown, or feel the need for true Southern food, visit 91 Lola's for lunch. The macaroni and cheese is the stuff of dreams and the cornbread will make you homesick for your mama's cooking.
93 It's OK to hate I-85 with a passion. Really, it is. Use that hate as fuel for your adventurous spirit and explore alternate routes to get where you're going. Charlotte and its surrounding areas have beautiful tree lined streets and colorful characters just waiting for you to find.
94 Stroll the Dilworth and Elizabeth neighborhoods and admire the beautiful historic houses.
95 Snag some great reading material at Realeyes Bookstore.
96 Hang out on an overpass above Interstate 85 and watch your favorite band cruise on by from Chapel Hill to Atlanta without even stopping for petrol within 25 miles of Charlotte.
97 Compare and contrast everything to Atlanta. Conclude that at least our traffic isn't quite as bad.
98 Complain that Charlotte is lame and do nothing to make our city better.
99 Pick up a copy of Creative Loafing.
Written by Branna Calloway, Jared Neumark, Kandia Crazy Horse, Karen Shugart, Kelly Hill, Kimberly Lawson, Matt Brunson, Natalie Howard, Tara Servatius, Tiffany L. Jones (Digital Divas PR) and Carlton Hargro.
What is your "true Charlottean" quotient? Add up the number of things you've done to find out.
0-20 -- OK, you just moved here; you're forgiven.
21-35 -- Dude, you really need to get out more.
36-50 -- At least you know where to take relatives when they come visit.
51-65 -- Yes, you are a true hipster.
66-80 -- You're either a journalist who's had to do all this stuff or else a trust fund baby with too much time and money to burn.
81-99 -- Time to move. You need new adventures.
99 things to do*
