One of these days, y’all will listen when I tell you to pay attention to the red flags. This week’s story is a prime example of these bright red flags and red lights flashing in your face telling you to STOP. RETREAT. DON’T LOOK BACK. KEEP IT MOVING!
Erin met Dave at a concert in Uptown on a Saturday night. Dave was a part of the security team that was working the event, while Erin was a concert-goer hanging with her friends on a girls night. Erin says she was looking for the restroom when Dave offered his help. He walked her to the restroom, and even stood outside waiting until she finished doing her business. She thought this was cute, so after chatting for a few minutes longer, they exchanged info. Erin says while Dave wasn’t the type of dude she usually went for, she figured he seemed nice enough and had manners. Again, y'all are going to learn to stop that "but he's nice" ish.
Sunday rolls around, and Dave calls Erin several times throughout the day, not really trying to get to know her or talk about anything, but "to say hello." Dave, bruh, and how many times do you need to say that? So Erin says she tried to get him to talk a little bit by asking him what else he does besides security. She says he mumbled something about advertising that didn’t sound like advertising, but she let it go.
On Monday, Dave texts and calls Erin multiple times throughout the day, even though she says she told him she would be in meetings and on conference calls all day. During one conversation, he asks her to dinner on Saturday, and then he slides this in: “So, are you looking to start a family or get married soon?”
Sir, what exactly is "soon"? I mean, I’m all about a man who wants to get right to the point of what it is he wants, but for some women, this may be one way to send 'em running for the hills.
On Tuesday, Erin gets a call from Dave in the middle of a meeting. When she calls him back, he tells her that he is crazy about her and sends a Facebook request. He texts later and says he went through ALL of her pics, just as she starts getting notifications like crazy. Who in the hell with a full-time job has the time to do this? He then texts her, asking her if she’d like to go to Charleston for the weekend instead of dinner. She declines, saying dinner is just fine.
Let me pause for a second. They just met and now he wants to go out of town together? If this isn’t a red flag and a half, I don’t know what is.
On Wednesday, Dave calls Erin when she gets off work and tells her he can’t wait to meet her parents.
He then tells her he thinks they should change their Charleston plans and head to the mountains for a romantic getaway. Maybe Dave doesn’t hear too well.
Erin shuts that idea down and says it’s way too early to be meeting each other’s family. He begins to beg. Yep, I said BEG. Erin says this fool was on the phone BEGGING to meet her family. WHY SWAY? Am I missing something here?
Once he sees that isn’t going anywhere, Dave then jumps into his plans for their date. Mind you, it’s winter time and he says, “Let’s go for a walk in the park around 7 p.m.”
I don’t know about you ladies, but I am not going on a walk, in the dark, in the cold, with some man I just met for five seconds. Maybe I watch too much TV, but that sounds like a Snapped episode waiting to happen in the park. So Erin shuts that idea down and says dinner is fine. He then says, “Well after the park, we can go get cocktails at TGI Friday and then go to the movies.” Chile, that’s a lot of togetherness for a first date. Finally, Erin asks the important question: “What is it you are looking for?”
Dave, oh Brother Dave, has his answer ready for her. “I’m looking for a chick to go out of town with and a friendship that evolves into a relationship so we can get married and have kids.” Well, hell, at least he’s honest and knows what he wants right?
The problem is that Dave is moving way too fast.
How does Erin deal with this? Instead of informing him she’s not looking for that, she tells him she’s moving across country in the next couple of months. LIES. Dave starts stuttering and sputtering and hangs up on her.
The weekend comes and goes, no date and no Dave. Erin decides to put in a little investigative work and Google this dude. She finds out he has been arrested several times for assault and writing bad checks.
Monday rolls around again, and Dave sends the “good morning” text to Erin as if everything is all good. Erin decides to just not respond and block him from her social media. Eventually, he stops trying to contact her.
Erin could have avoided all this drama by doing what? Paying attention to them red flags!
Have you had a good or bad dating experience that you want to share? Go ahead, shoot an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. We'll keep your identity a secret — just let us know what dating in the Queen City is really like!