Good news, South Carolina. You finally beat us at something! On average, you all watch porn for 11 minutes and 17 seconds, 9 seconds longer than North Carolinians.

But wait, I come bearing more good news! MILFs, today is your lucky day (when is it not?). North Carolinians search yours more than any other term - including, but not limited to, bi, teen, straight, gay, teacher, secretary, bi-racial, mature, lesbian, blowjob, bukkake, college, fetish, hardcore, red head, shemale, threesome, uniform, vintage, babe and ass - on PornHub.com.

• Kyle MacDonald (Flickr: Creative Commons)

The third-largest porn website on the Internet broke down the search and watch habits on its site by state. North Carolina is wedged between Texas and Michigan for the amount of time we spend watching porn (11 minutes and 7 seconds). Our top-three search terms: MILF, creampie and ebony, in that order. The longest-porn-watcher is Mississippi, at 11 minutes and 59 seconds. In fact, among the top-ten longest-porn-watching states are six from the South (YEEHAW!!!).

Massachusetts likes hentai, apparently a form of Japanese cartoon porn (apologies to the co-worker who had to explain it to me). Texas likes - surprise, surprise - teens, and Nevada likes something called anita queen, which, please, I beg of you, do not explain in the comment section. Appropriately, Rhode Island, the smallest state in the union, watches porn for the shortest amount of time - only 10 seconds. And the most unique state is Wyoming. It's top-three search terms are smoking (?), teen and brcc (?).

You're welcome.