This is where things get murky, shady and stupid.

Andrew Young has the Rielle Hunter and John Edwards sex tape, but he doesn't want to give it back or sell it.

Dude, what are you doing?

Here is a dime-store analysis of Young's train of thought:

He told ABC NEWS:

Former John Edwards aide Andrew Young and his wife Cheri argued in court papers today that Edwards' mistress, Rielle Hunter, has no legal claim to a purported sex tape she allegedly made with the one-time presidential candidate.

What he meant was:

My wife and I watch this tape every night to spice up our boring and bland sex life. If I give it back, we're going to be missionary all over again.

He and his wife also said:

Youngs suggested the possibility that Hunter simply made a mistake when she said her video was made in 2006 instead of 2007. But even if that were true, they argued, Hunter had abandoned the video tape in trash and made no effort to recover it until the summer of 2009.

What he meant was:

She left it, and it is mine now. Oh, I wish I could do the things that John Edwards did to her. Hey, Cheri, do you think you can do that thing Rielle did?

Listen, it's not fair to keep a sex tape away from the public. Think of all of the sex tapes that have flooded the Internet that we didn't want to see. One Night In Paris? Give me a break. A sex tape is the reason Kim Kardashian overshadowed Reggie Bush of the New Orleans Saints last night on the NFL Network. And her tape with Ray J was boring.

The John Edwards sex tape is historical and shows what lies politicians  tell in bed — and we want to see it.

And Rielle Hunter, darling, you need to stop playing the victim because you wanted that tape to be found. Maybe not by Young and his wife but you had to know the next owners of that house would find your box of "trash."

You're in the Research Triangle, not backwoods South Carolina--anyone can put a tape back together.

Somebody, release the damn tape already!