Happy New Year! 2009 is so over and here are some things that should never happen to you again. Why? Because in 2010 (Man, I love saying that), we don't want to hear about it.
1. If you know eggs and cheese give you bubble guts, don't have anal sex on your mate's birthday.
2. Don't get mad when you show up to your sports loving mate's house during a big sporting event and he has company and you have no clothes on.
3. You discovered that your mate is a cheater, but you stuck around -- don't call me crying when the scum bag does it again.
4. Don't be afraid to play games -- in bed.
5. Don't spend your honeymoon talking about other people. Please fuck your new spouse.
It's 2010, you should have learned some lessons in 2009. If you didn't, too bad because your friends are tired of hearing the same old drama, and we're not listening any more.