A funny thing happened to T this weekend. He got caught by his young daughter in bed with his girlfriend. Granted, at the time he and his girlfriend were fully clothed and just starting to get into the act, with some kissing and hands in places his daughter shouldn't have seen.
But he froze after the little girl left the room and thought about what had just happened. He said his girlfriend asked him why didn't he close the door and asked him did he think his daughter didn't know he had sex.
T was honest and said, "I don't like to think about her knowing what sex is right now."
I love T, I think he's a great father who has taken on the responsibility of being a single father with full custody; but he's living in a dream world.
Back in the day before the Internet, parents could play the "we'll talk about sex when you're older" game. Nowadays, sex is at the click of a mouse or a remote control. (Have you seen Cinemax after 10 p.m.? I bet your kids have.)
Shouldn't parents control the message about sex? No way should T had had that conversation in front of his horny girlfriend, but I'm willing to bed that his 10-year-old knew what was about to be going on in that bedroom.
Parents have to stop hiding sex from their kids and open up a dialogue that will teach them the truth about sex. How it is for older (much older than 10) people and the good, bad and ugly about it. Burying your head in the sand is not an option.
All too often parents focus on molestation when they talk to their daughters about sex. They focus on the bad things that can happen and some women grow up totally unaware that their sexuality is theirs and not a boy's who has to her have right now or his balls will explode or turn blue.
Some girls grow up thinking sex is a game. Remember the story about the girls who were upset because their names didn't appear on a slut list circulating around their high school?
Kids aren't getting a good message from their parents about sex and that allows their friends and the media to fill their heads with what they think about sex. I'm willing to bet that it doesn't jive with what you as a parent think about sex. But if you don't control the message and talk openly and honestly about sex with your kids, then it's your own damned fault.