National Coming Out Day is Oct. 11



National Coming Out Day is celebrated on Oct. 11 every year to raise awareness in the community about the lives of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people. People often use this day to come out to someone who doesn't know they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans, according to

What is it like coming out? We're going to tell some of those stories on this blog this week leading to Sunday's national event.

If you're gay and tired of hiding it from your family, here are some tips on how to come out. What these tips don't tell you is that you should expect that not everyone is going to be happy for you or on your side. Those people who can't accept you for who you really are probably shouldn't be in your life anyway because they are judgmental fucks.

  1. Step 1

    Accept your own sexuality and make an active decision about who you want to tell, how you want to tell them and when and where to do so. Coming out to family and longtime friends is often an emotionally charged time. Your consideration for them should guide you to think about what kind of support they may need to help them process this information.

  2. Step 2

    Prepare yourself to tell your parents by talking to someone else in their generation about it first. A little practice can help you focus on how you want to say things and when to be circumspect so that you don't overwhelm your parents with too much information.

  3. Step 3

    Anticipate your parents' responses to what you will tell them. Even if they have prejudices or homophobic feelings, the most important thing that they need to hear--whether or not they realize it immediately--is that you are safe and that you are living your life in a careful and fulfilling way.

  4. Step 4

    Allow your parents to ask you questions and tell you what they are thinking. Trying to anticipate their responses should not keep you from giving them a chance to have their own responses.

  5. Step 5

    Give your parents time to accept the information that you share with them. Remember that it probably took you some time to come to terms with your sexuality. Even if a parent's first response disappoints you, allow your parents a chance to evolve.

  6. Step 6

    Preempt gossip and triangulated communication among family members by understanding that other friends and family members may also be discussing the issue. Communicating directly with your parents puts the focus between you and them, where it should be.

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