Get a free (sperm) facial from your man

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You know the shot in a porn where the man dumps his load in the face of the man or woman who just gave him a blow job?

Guess what? That's a $250 face cream at one spa. But why pay for what you can get for free? The next time you're in the throes of passion with your mate and your skin is feeling a little rough, have him pull out and shower you with his cream.

Beauty insiders are touting spermine, a powerful antioxidant found in human sperm, as the solution to diminish wrinkles and smooth skin. Bioforskning (yes, that’s the actual name), a Norwegian company, is now synthesizing the substance in laboratories and selling it. And stateside, some women are shelling out as much as $250 for a spermine facial at spas.

But why stop at the face? Got cracked feet? Give that man a foot job.

Elbows feeling rough and dry? Take the sperm from your chest and rub it in.

I'm not sure if saliva changes the results of the sperm facial, so I guess it's best to swallow if you get it in your mouth.