Why you should masturbate at work

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Ever had a day where you didn't want to go to work because you knew that one coworker was just going to annoy the hell out of you?

Or did you miss your cup of coffee before you got stuck on I-77?

Don't walk into your office building and cuss your coworkers out, make them think you have a gun and are about to go postal. Just take a break and find a quiet place and touch yourself.

At work, you probably need an orgasm more than when you're winding down at night. The bathroom is a good place for masturbation on the job. Women can use small vibrators that look like lipstick and phones to get off at work, just make sure you can keep it down when you come in public.

Men, you lucky bastards, have everything you need to get off at work--two hands and some lotion. Even if you don't have your own bottle at your desk, a female coworker will loan you some. Of course, she's not going to know why. While the bathroom may not be the best place for a man to unleash his frustrations, there is always a storage closet that people don't use often. You know your office and where the quiet places are.

It's best to do this in the morning while people are booting their computers and getting coffee. This lessens your chance of getting caught. And having a morning orgasm sets the tone for the rest of the day. Everyone knows when Lucy, the office bitch, got some the night before or moments before she entered the office. For eight hours after she orgasms, no one wants to kill her.

Do yourself and you coworkers a favor, masturbate when you're in a bad mood.

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