S&M and domestic violence aren't the same

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Usually The Frisky is on of my favorite websites to read about love, sex and relationships.

But a recent column about S&M was so far off the mark that I think I'm going to have seek articles and fun to read things elsewhere.

According to the article:

Where once spanking, dirty talk, and hair-pulling pushed the limits of casual sexual encounters, choking, face-slapping and spitting are becoming more and more part and parcel of hooking up. What happens in the privacy of the bedroom is a matter of taste, I suppose, but in light of the recent, high profile Chris Brown/Rihanna scandal, you kinda can’t help but wonder whether harmless sex games and real-life violence toward women are connected.

Can you say apples to oranges. Domestic violence and S&M are not the same, not even on the same track. Partners who participate in S&M are both being pleased, the dom and the submissive. People actually get paid to flog people right here in Charlotte.

Real life violence toward women has more to do with the abuser's mental state than someone playing a sex game. If it's not your cup of tea, don't do it, but use dime store psychology to explain domestic violence. It's not true nor does it help victims of domestic violence.

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