Let’s face it, these days navigating the dating minefield is hard – even for those who let Hollywood movies and popular culture dictate their opinion. But when you plan to stick to Christian moral values that often go against today’s social norms, dating becomes even more complicated.
To make matters worse, Christian relationship advice isn’t easy to find. After all, the Scriptures are fairly quiet on the subject of dating. If you’re starting to feel lost, here are some things to keep in mind.
Don’t feel pressured.
You and only you are responsible for your behavior. Modern society can be pretty casual about things like club hopping and having “friends with benefits” and it’s easy to feel like there’s something wrong with you if you don’t want those things.
Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong about maintaining Christian values, so don’t let anyone make you feel like “uncool” for doing so. Compromise your morals and not only will you be angry with yourself for it, you’ll end up with a relationship you’re not happy with. There really isn’t anything to gain from it.
Get a Christian perspective.
If you’re getting your relationship advice from a hodgepodge of self-help books and daytime talk shows, well, you’re bound to get confused. If you want solid Christian relationship advice, seek out material by and for Christians.
Advice on things like breaking up, dating someone of a different denomination or a non-Christian, and how far to take physical intimacy are all going to be a little different coming from a Christian than from anyone else. After all, that’s the whole point of Christian relationship advice. That’s not to say you should only read material written by Christians, of course. Getting a different perspective is useful, too. Just make sure you consider the source before you actually take the advice.
Hang out with other Christians.
Sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But do you actually do it? If you want to date Christians, you’ve got to go where the Christians are. When you’re busy with school, work, and other responsibilities, though, it’s easy to forget to set aside time for that. You need to make a point of looking for Christian volunteer activities and fellowship groups where you can meet some new people.
Date for marriage.
If you’re dating because you want to find a life partner, dating specifically for marriage will save you both time and a whole lot of heartache. Keep in mind, too, that just because a Christian isn’t dating just for the chance to sleep around, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re dating for marriage.
They may just be dating to have some fun on the weekends. Don’t be shy about asking your date if they’re currently looking for “the one.” If they’re not and you are, you may want to stop seeing them and look for someone more marriage minded.
If you’re hoping to find a fulfilling, loving relationship with another devout Christian, have faith that there’s someone out there looking for someone like you, too. With a little determination and some trustworthy Christian relationship advice, you stand a pretty good chance of finding them.
________________
1 Corinthians 16:14: “Do everything in love."
1 John 4:16: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."
Ephesians 4:2: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
Hebrews 10:24-25: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
1 John 4:12: “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."
1 Corinthians 13:13: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
John 15:12: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
To make matters worse, Christian relationship advice isn’t easy to find. After all, the Scriptures are fairly quiet on the subject of dating. If you’re starting to feel lost, here are some things to keep in mind.
Don’t feel pressured.
You and only you are responsible for your behavior. Modern society can be pretty casual about things like club hopping and having “friends with benefits” and it’s easy to feel like there’s something wrong with you if you don’t want those things.
Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong about maintaining Christian values, so don’t let anyone make you feel like “uncool” for doing so. Compromise your morals and not only will you be angry with yourself for it, you’ll end up with a relationship you’re not happy with. There really isn’t anything to gain from it.
Get a Christian perspective.
If you’re getting your relationship advice from a hodgepodge of self-help books and daytime talk shows, well, you’re bound to get confused. If you want solid Christian relationship advice, seek out material by and for Christians.
Advice on things like breaking up, dating someone of a different denomination or a non-Christian, and how far to take physical intimacy are all going to be a little different coming from a Christian than from anyone else. After all, that’s the whole point of Christian relationship advice. That’s not to say you should only read material written by Christians, of course. Getting a different perspective is useful, too. Just make sure you consider the source before you actually take the advice.
Hang out with other Christians.
Sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But do you actually do it? If you want to date Christians, you’ve got to go where the Christians are. When you’re busy with school, work, and other responsibilities, though, it’s easy to forget to set aside time for that. You need to make a point of looking for Christian volunteer activities and fellowship groups where you can meet some new people.
Date for marriage.
If you’re dating because you want to find a life partner, dating specifically for marriage will save you both time and a whole lot of heartache. Keep in mind, too, that just because a Christian isn’t dating just for the chance to sleep around, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re dating for marriage.
They may just be dating to have some fun on the weekends. Don’t be shy about asking your date if they’re currently looking for “the one.” If they’re not and you are, you may want to stop seeing them and look for someone more marriage minded.
If you’re hoping to find a fulfilling, loving relationship with another devout Christian, have faith that there’s someone out there looking for someone like you, too. With a little determination and some trustworthy Christian relationship advice, you stand a pretty good chance of finding them.
________________
1 Corinthians 16:14: “Do everything in love."
1 John 4:16: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."
Ephesians 4:2: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."
Hebrews 10:24-25: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."
1 John 4:12: “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."
1 Corinthians 13:13: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
John 15:12: “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
