Five reasons why baby Pau is a little turd*



1. He's a tease: During his first week home, Pau slept for four hour stretches at night and hardly cried during the day. I bragged to anyone who would listen about what an easy baby he was and thanked my lucky stars that he was so different from baby Luki. Oh, how wrong I was! These days Pau is waking up every two hours at night and cries inconsolably whenever he's awake and not attached to my breast. Basically, he only has three settings: 1. awake and feeding, 2. awake and screaming, 3. asleep (but never for more than two hours at a time)

2. He consistently saves his biggest poops for the 2 a.m. diaper change: Look, I'm not even going to complain about getting pooped and peed on during the day when we are fully conscious and can react swiftly, but it's a low blow to attack us when our guard is down and our eyes are semi-closed. The worst part is that he also has his eyes closed and remains unperturbed by our disgusted moans and groans.

3. He refuses to let me eat: Maybe it's his way of helping me lose the baby weight, but whenever I sit down to try to get some nourishment into my body, baby Pau starts screaming and does not stop until one of my boobs is in his mouth. Even if he's asleep and in another room, even if I just fed him, even if all I'm trying to eat is a cheese cracker, he always starts crying.

4. He behaves for grandma: If my mother could have a signature expression, it would be, "you're doing it wrong," so it's pretty annoying that whenever Tony or I are unsuccessfully trying to soothe or burp baby Pau and she intervenes, he immediately cooperates. It's like he revels in making us feel inadequate.

5. He's too cute to stay mad at: I mean, really, who could with a smile like this?


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