Tired of waiting around for those print journalism assignments that no longer come your way? Weary of seeing press releases run in spaces that once housed actual news stories?
Did that blogger for welovemusic.com snag your free tickets to Madonna's last tour? When you make that follow-up call for the investigative story you've been working on for the past five years, do your sources just laugh at you?
Never fear. There's a beer for you - a malted barley beer as "dark and bitter as the future of American journalism."
According to the label on his Unemployed Reporter Porter brand, "Porter style beers were first popularized in the nineteenth century by merchant sailors and manual dock laborers. Unemployed Reporter is crafted in the same tradition, honoring a profession likewise doomed to decline and irrelevance."
But wait, there's also a warning on the side: "The Surgeon General says women shouldn't drink alcohol during pregnancy, but between Gawker and the Huffington Post, hasn't the act of procreation itself become a moral liability?"
So, pop the top of an Unemployed Reporter today, and sing along with American folk icon Pete Seeger as he reminisces on all those interesting people you once met: