Drink away your journalist blues

Posted by Mark Segal Kemp on Tue, Feb 12, 2013 at 9:10 AM

Tired of waiting around for those print journalism assignments that no longer come your way? Weary of seeing press releases run in spaces that once housed actual news stories?

Did that blogger for welovemusic.com snag your free tickets to Madonna's last tour? When you make that follow-up call for the investigative story you've been working on for the past five years, do your sources just laugh at you?

Never fear. There's a beer for you - a malted barley beer as "dark and bitter as the future of American journalism."

Unemployed-Reporter-Porter.jpg
  • joncampbell.org

Yes, folks, unemployed reporter Jon Campbell has created the libation just for, well... unemployed reporters. "Unfortunately, production has not yet expanded beyond the five-gallon plastic bucket in my closet, so it won't be hitting the market any time soon," Campbell, a former Hartford Advocate reporter, writes on his website. "But I'm glad others in this business appreciate a little gallows humor."

According to the label on his Unemployed Reporter Porter brand, "Porter style beers were first popularized in the nineteenth century by merchant sailors and manual dock laborers. Unemployed Reporter is crafted in the same tradition, honoring a profession likewise doomed to decline and irrelevance."

But wait, there's also a warning on the side: "The Surgeon General says women shouldn't drink alcohol during pregnancy, but between Gawker and the Huffington Post, hasn't the act of procreation itself become a moral liability?"

So, pop the top of an Unemployed Reporter today, and sing along with American folk icon Pete Seeger as he reminisces on all those interesting people you once met:

Click here for more "journalism's going down the tubes" songs.

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