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Bizarre crimes from Charlotte police files (Jan. 17)

A five-dollar idiot, bird beating, more

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Five-dollar Idiot: Police responded to a robbery call in east Charlotte after a woman successfully fought off her attacker in a shopping center parking lot. The 33-year-old victim told officers that a man ran up and tried to grab her purse. The woman put an elbow into his chest and he fell backward and let go of the bag. By the time police arrived, one would think the man would have made his escape. Instead, he was found walking out of the Subway right next door with a nice, big sandwich in his hand as if nothing had happened.

Ding Dong Ditch: A 39-year-old woman filed a report after someone took the tradition of pranking people at their front doors too far. The woman said the suspect rang the doorbell of her east Charlotte home. When she opened the door, she realized the person had poured a can of motor oil all over the carpet on her front porch. Luckily for her and her entire house, there was no flaming bag involved.

Bird Brains: While cowardly people have been featured in The Blotter in years past for targeting dogs or cats with violence or threats, one man hit a new low last week in east Charlotte after going after a pet bird. The man took a bat to the cage of a 24-year-old woman's parakeet in an attempt to kill it. The bird survived but was listed on the report as suffering $600 worth of injuries.

A Lesson in Futility: A 55-year-old woman filed a police report after her neighbor finally got the revenge she thought she deserved. The victim told officers her neighbor had been mad at her for reporting her to animal control the previous week. One day last week, the victim watched as her neighbor walked over to her driveway, opened her car door and took two envelopes from the center console. The woman tore the victim's utility bills and left them on the driveway before.

Shot Down: A man was on his way to an awesome night before pesky Wal-Mart security guards sabotaged him last week. The man was stopped while leaving the store trying to steal some body spray, body wash and a 36-pack of Trojan condoms.

Threats of the Week: A 24-year-old woman filed a report after becoming "It" in a new, dangerous game of tag. The woman said the suspect texted her 28 times and said, "I know what you said and me and you have beef and you have been thug tagged." A 23-year-old woman received a call from a man who told her, "I am going to cut your hand off and send it to prove you're dead." A 20-year-old college kid in the university area called police on his roommate after a hungry man told him, "If you fucking touch my food, you're dead."

Blotter items are chosen from the files of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department.

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